Sexuality and marriage

Within Thedas, there are several different views in regards to sexuality and marriage. Common to all groups is that marriage is not primarily regarded as a romantic affair, but a duty to one’s family.

Viewpoints

The Chantry

According to the Chant of Light, Andraste had a spiritual marriage with the Maker. All Andrastian priests are symbolically wedded to the Maker; they cannot marry, but are not required to be celibate. In the eyes of the Chantry, marriage is a matter of tradition and practicality, and a holy bond between man and woman. Love is not necessary, but love within marriage is the ideal. Other than that, the Chantry has few regulations regarding sexuality.

The Chantry does not have divorce, but a marriage can be annulled.

City Elves

Among city elves, marriage is what distinguishes children from adults. Usually, elven children are betrothed according to the consent of their parents and the Alienage elders, and often the bride and groom will not have met each other before the marriage ceremony. Betrothals often involve families from different Alienages, in order to promote inter-city trade and relations, as well as to bring new elves into the tight-knit Alienage community. Marriage ceremonies require the approval of the Chantry, and are officiated by one of the Chantry priests. In a community where there is mostly little cause for celebration, a wedding is a tremendous affair, and friends and relatives come to enjoy the feasting and dancing.

Dwarves of Orzammar

The dwarves of Orzammar have one of the most sensuous cultures in Thedas. Polyamory (having multiple intimate relationships) is common, and brothels are legal. While a dwarf has only one wife or husband, many nobles keep concubines, who are considered part of the household and have their names recorded in the Memories. A dwarf’s caste is determined by that of their same-sex parent, so many lower caste men and women offer themselves to nobles in the hopes of a producing a child of the noble’s gender. As dwarven fertility is in dangerous decline, any noble child is considered a blessing, and a lower caste dwarf who is suitably fertile will be taken in to the noble’s household as a concubine. Frequently, if the initial liaison with a noble produces a child of the lower caste dwarf’s gender, the infant will be disposed of, as they would be an embarrassment to the noble parent and any noble siblings to follow.

Grey Wardens

Although Grey Wardens are not forbidden from marrying, tradition goes against it. Grey Wardens usually dedicate themselves to their task for the remainder of their relatively short lives, leaving little opportunity for anything else. Even if a Grey Warden avoids death in battle against the darkspawn, they will eventually succumb to the taint after only thirty to fourty years. Furthermore, due to the taint of the Darkspawn from the Joining, conception is difficult for a single Grey Warden parent. Conception is nearly impossible if both would-be parents are Grey Wardens.

Mages

Mages tend to be more promiscuous than the average population. They are free to act as they desire and are not considered bound by social morals as they are not considered part of normal society. Dialogue between Wynne and Alistair hints at some form of birth control or abortion being readily available at least to mages. They are not encouraged to marry or have children for practical reasons. Mages who do have children will give a high chance of the offspring also having a magical ability. It has been proven that the trait is very likely to be passed down to at least two generations down. If it is discovered that a child has the ability, they are immediately transferred to the Circle for training, without contact with the outside world. To prevent separation from their children, some parents hide the fact and even hire apostates to train their children in secret, as with Connor and Isolde.

Orlais

Aristocrats in Orlais like to outdo each other when it comes to showing off their extravagant tastes, sexual or otherwise. The peasantry is much less tolerant of such things, at least in public. According to The Stolen Throne, the ruler of Ferelden during the Orlesian occupation, Meghren, reputedly had sexual relations with his cousin Florian, the Emperor. There was perhaps some scandal involved that led to Meghren being "banished" from Orlais to be King of Ferelden, but this may be more a result of the fact that Florian was Meghren's cousin rather than the nature of the relationship itself.

Qunari

The attitudes of the qunari towards sex and marriage are unknown. Other races might be surprised to learn that the stoic Qunari have relationships of any kind, and Qunari women have only rarely been observed by outsiders.

Homosexuality

The majority of Fereldans consider same-sex relations odd, but not immoral, while Orlesians consider it a quirk of character. Among the Antivan Crows, however, there seems to be a winking tolerance for, if not an encouragement of, sexual relations with multiple partners of either sex. There is pressure to marry an opposite-gendered partner in certain circles, such as the nobility and the City Elves, but this is motivated by pragmatism rather than morality - a homosexual couple cannot have biological children, which is a problem both for a noble house and an Elven community.

Interspecies

The children of elves and humans are always human. As the elves are a dying race, there is a great deal of pressure for each member to produce children. Relationships with humans are considered traitorous and anyone who has a child with a human may be kicked out of the community.

Dwarves have difficulty reproducing and many dwarves consider humans and elves lesser races. For this reason, they are also against interspecies relations. Humans and dwarves can produce half-dwarves, but this is very rare.

Prostitution

Brothels are legal in Ferelden and in the Dwarven city of Orzammar. While it is not particularly respectable to visit a brothel, it is not considered a big matter.

See Also

Romance

Resources

David Gaider