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* '''Sera:''' That's lies, right? Must be lies.
* '''Sera:''' That's lies, right? Must be lies.
* '''Sera:''' Enjoying your food lately, Vivvy?
* '''Vivienne:''' Ugh. Shall I assume you have altered my meals? Set the servants against me and encouraged sputum-based rebellion?
* '''Sera:''' Of course not, I would never. But you can't know, right?
* '''Vivienne:''' ''(Sighs.)'' Rest assured, I will eat privately from my own stores from now on.
* '''Blackwall:''' Whose idea was that, then?
* '''Sera:''' Varri--MINE!
* '''Sera:''' Cruel bunch, your lot, Vivvy. Don't know how you live with what they think of you.
* '''Vivienne:''' My dear, despite your egalitarian protests you are ever so susceptible to the opinions of others.
* '''Sera:''' I don't give a squirt what anyone says.
* '''Vivienne:''' Of course not, coherent speech is your nemesis, but it is clear you care a great deal about what they /think/.
* '''Vivienne:''' Take heart that you are ''not'' among the nobility, little Sera. You would not survive.
* '''Sera:''' No one wants to join your stupid club!
* '''Vivienne:''' Of course not, dear.
* '''Sera:''' I bet you left a trail.
* '''Vivienne:''' Whatever are you on about now, dear?
* '''Sera:''' What you used to be. Wherever you're from. Little people will know about you.
* '''Vivienne:''' We all have something we used to be, haven't "we," dear? Done things "we" would rather die than have known?
* '''Vivienne:''' By all means, escalate, but I will answer in kind, armed with painful history I am sure is better left to your own sad memory.
* '''Sera:''' She's frigging evil, she is.
* '''Sera:''' You're not so scary, Vivvy. Maybe I can't bug you, but you can't bug me neither.
* '''Vivienne:''' My dear, I have not attempted to "bug you.".
* '''Sera:''' Yes you have.
* '''Vivienne:''' I assure you, I have not.
* '''Sera:''' You ruddy well tried, and it hasn't friggin worked! Got it?
* '''Vivienne:''' Of course, Sera, dear. I understand completely.
Revision as of 06:33, 2 October 2015
- (Approaching a high dragon) She sees us!
- (After killing a high dragon) Big heroes, us. That was... that was great.
- (After killing a high dragon)
- Inquisitor: Is everyone all right?
- Sera: Yeah! I mean, yes. I'm alive. Really... alive.
- (Non-rogue tries to pick a lock) Just let me do it.
- (Locate a Shard while looking through an Ocularum) I don't want to touch anything a skull lit up. Skulls don't say "here's a good thing".
- (Find a Shard) More stupid keys for the stupid lock I could have picked if it wasn't stupid magic.
- (Finding the skulls in the locked house in Redcliffe Village) Every skull was...? No, done thinking about it. Done.
- (Approach place to camp) So, set up camp or keep moving?
- (Approach place to camp) As good a place as any to camp.
- (In a searchable area) Worth a look around, right?
- (Spreading ashes during Last Wishes) Phnngghhaa... Pleh. Phfftt. Got... in... hnnng... my... it's in my mouth.
- (Inquisitor takes a Veilfire torch) Why are you bringing the not-fire with us?
- (Kill Highwayman Chief during Capturing Caer Bronach) Payday, yeah? Let's get some merchants in your new house.
- (Claim Caer Bronach for the Inquisition) Oh, this is better. Your people are fast.
- (Returning to Din'an Hanin after completing Investigate Elven Ruins)
- Inquisitor: It's Taven's party.
- Sera: The one after elfy history? Figures. That's a bunch of dead all the way back.
- Blackwall: Looks like they tried to fight back, but most were unarmed.
- Blackwall: Poor buggers never stood a chance.
- (Upon entering the Fade) Shitballs, fuck, shit, crap. Fade, shit, arse, demons, crap!
- (Encountering Justinia V)
- Cassandra: Could that truly have been the Most Holy?
- Vivienne: Justinia was unarmed and unprepared. She could not have defended herself against the creatures of the Fade.
- Vivienne: Whether this is a kindly spirit or a demon fighting its rival for territory remains to be seen.
- Sera: So she's not real? Then the Nightmare's fake, too, right? Right?
- Loghain: A demon that feeds on fear. Despicable, even for a beast of the Fade.
- Loghain: After its corruption of the Wardens, I'll see it pay.
- (Conversing with the Nightmare)
- Nightmare: Sera. Sera. Sera... If you shoot an arrow at me, I'll know where you are.
- Sera: Out of my head, bitch-balls!
- (Encountering Fearlings for the first time)
- Hawke: And they take the form of spiders, something so many fear.
- Sera: Didn't see no spiders. I'd have taken bloody spiders.
- Cole: They want your fear, so they look how you feel.
- Sera: So... it's in my head? Knowing is not helping!
- (Upon seeing the Nightmare) No, no, no! That's too big!
- (Upon finding the dead servants in the Servant's Quarters)
- Sera: Caught in the middle of this crap. What fully qualified arsehole stops to kill a cook?
- Vivienne: They always kill the servants first, my dear. Otherwise, they could run and warn someone.
- Sera: Oh, sure, reasonable innit? Frigging garbage.
- (Investigating the body)
- Inquisitor: Must be the elves Briala's people are looking for.
- Sera: Whoever did this oughta be down here somewhere.
- Inquisitor: So this is where the Sulevin Blade was lost.
- Sera: Stuck it in the arse-end of nowhere.
- (Crestwood I smell the damp. Just... in everything.
- (Emerald Graves) Right, I can see why everyone fights over this. No I can't.
- (Emerald Grave - near waterfall) There could be stuff behind the falls. That'd be clever.
- (Exalted Plains - finding a letter for Left to Grieve) Eww.
- (Fallow Mire) The Veil smells like arse here.
- (Forbidden Oasis) I have sand... in places.
- (Forbidden Oasis - Solasan, after opening a sarcophagus) What just happened?
- (Hinterlands - cave) I've been here before. Then I left.
- (Hinterlands - Wolf Hollow, during Trouble with Wolves) There's the dogs. Wolves. Whatever.
- (Hinterlands or Crestwood; Solas in party) The Veil is Veil-y here. Or something.
- (Hinterlands) The Veil is girlish here.
- (Hissing Wastes) So many stars. They go past forever.
- (Hissing Wastes - lighting Veilfire torches in tombs in the wrong order, summoning demons)
- Inquisitor: That wasn't the right solution.
- Sera: You think?
- (Shrine of Dumat - find one of the memory crystls) Is that Cory-friggy? Who likes their own voice enough to do this?
- (Storm Coast) I smell seaweed. How do I know seaweed?
- (Storm Coast) Can't even see the other shore. That's... far.
- (Storm Coast - see the High dragon and giant fighting) (Laughs.) Wow. We can watch, yeah?
- (Western Approach - the Still Ruins) Well, this is rubbish. Let's do whatever and get out.
- (Western Approach - the Still Ruins) The veil has grit in its breeches here.
- (Western Approach - baiting the high dragon) Okay. Setting traps for dragons. Why not? (Chuckles.)
- (Frostback Basin, at 'In Fear of Hryngnar' Landmark) Creepy. Needs a hat. And breeches.
- (Frostback Basin) The veil is wobbly here.
- (If Dorian is in party)
- Dorian: Perhaps a bit warbly instead?
- Sera: What? Let me check. Sensing. Sense-y. Definitely wobbly.
- (If Cassandra is in party)
- Cassandra: Certainly not! It's much more squeaky.
- Sera: What? Let me check. Sensing. Sense-y. Definitely wobbly.
- (If Iron Bull is in party)
- Iron Bull: I was going with spicy.
- Sera: What? Let me check. Sensing. Sense-y. Definitely wobbly.
- (If Blackwall is in party)
- Blackwall: You sure it isn't wiggly?
- Sera: What? Let me check. Sensing. Sense-y. Definitely wobbly.
- (If Solas is in party - takes place after other companions' comments)
Kills an enemy
- Eat it! Ate it!
- Bits up, face down!
- Isn't that just precious?
- Snuffed it!
- I'd like to live, thanks!
- Hurting over here!
- I'm dying here!
- (Inquisitor) Stop dying, you!
- (Cassandra) The Seeker's down!
- (Dorian) Dorian down!
- (Iron Bull) Big guy fell!
- (Iron Bull - killed by High dragon) How's she got Bull?
- (Vivienne) Madame Fancypants is down.
Low Health (Companions):
- (Cole) Creepy's in trouble!
- (Vivienne) Vivi's up a creek!
Companion Comments about Sera
- Cassandra: Watch the treasury carefully. With that Sera present... (Inquisitor: "You think she's here to rob us?") Possibly not, but I wouldn't put it past her.
- Vivienne: Sera is certainly a colorful character. Like a poisonous toad. Only without the manners.
Sera's Comments about Companions
- Blackwall: He's... too good, right? Like to see him out of that uniform. Not like that.
- Blackwall: (after Blackwall's identity as Rainier has been revealed:) Right. "Warden". Good liar, that one. Should give lessons. Suppose he kind of did. Soldiers do nasty shit. Still kind of like him, though. Proper sorry, him.
- Cassandra: Not as buttoned up as she plays, right? Tough though, I stand behind her in front of anything.
- Cassandra: (if romanced) Thoughts? Sure. Not like yours though. Thought your way right up in there.
- Cole: Not saying nothing about that. That thing is just wrong.
- Dorian: He's fun. Could lose a bit more Tevinter.
- Dorian: (if romanced) You're having it off with him, you don't need me talking. But I do anyway.
- Iron Bull: Heh. He makes me wonder about... things.
- (if the Inquisitor is not female Vashoth) I mean, what do their women look like? Woof.
- (if the Inquisitor is female Vashoth) He's got nothing on you, but that Qun stuff... I don't know...
- Iron Bull: (if romanced) Yeah, I got thoughts. How can you still walk? Nevermind, mostly don't want to know.
- Solas: Solas? Pfft. His head's crammed up a thousand years ago.
- Solas: (If romanced) I've seen how you look at him. You're in it. Bet he calls out "Elven glory" when he does it.
- Varric: Varric? Too clever. Always saying something, but never saying it straight.
- Cullen: I suppose if you want a jackboot, you get a big one so you can grow into it.
- Cullen: (if romanced) And your Cullen-wullen? Cully-wully? Lots of men under him. Needs a woman over him. Because positions.
- Leliana: Leliana is pretty in places. Swear I've seen her, too. Or heard she used to play. But that'd be mad.
- Josephine: Now Josephine, she's as good at humbling her kind as I am, just with less mess. Knows her business, if you have to have it.
- Josephine: (if romanced) Now Josie? You don't need me going on about your little Josie. You know her better.
Sera and Blackwall
- Sera: Look at you, all serious. What do Wardens do when there's no Blight anyway?
- Blackwall: Whatever it takes to keep the world safe.
- Sera: Like join Inquisitions.
- Blackwall: If that's what necessary. Hey, you're here too.
- Sera: (Laughs.) The Inquisition can't be all broody beards like you and Cassandra.
- Blackwall: She doesn't have the hair for it.
- Sera: Oh, I'd bet she does. Places.
(If Cassandra is in party)
- Cassandra: That's enough!
- Sera: Knew it!
(If the Inquisitor is not romancing Blackwall or Josephine)
- Sera: So are you going to squeeze up to her or not?
- Blackwall: What? squeeze up to who?
- Sera: Lady Josie. I've seen you, doing that knightly stuff.
- Blackwall: Maker, Sera! No, stay out of it.
- Sera: You're all shy! What you think you can't treat her right?
- Blackwall: No it's not-
- Sera: I'll show you. I just need a peach. A ripe one. Because if you do it right, ripe. Down there.
- Blackwall: Please, no peaches, ripe or otherwise.
- Sera: But I can't teach you bananas! That'll be like showing you swords. Oh, remember. Do not use it like a sword.
- Blackwall: How do I make this stop?
- Blackwall: You should learn to watch your back.
- Sera: Well, you need to... your arse!
- Sera: No, your mom's arse!
- Blackwall: (Sighs.) Great. I'm glad we understand each other.
- Blackwall: Trouble with you and...
- Sera: Don't want to talk about it.
- Blackwall: Right. Right.
- Sera: It's just... frig. Frigging, piss-tossing frig!
- Blackwall: Uh huh. Tavern later? We can drink everything. Pick you out a serving wench.
- Sera: Rrrgh!
- Blackwall: Fine. You can pick me one.
- Blackwall: That Breach. It's hard to look away from it sometimes. [confirmation needed]
- Sera: Why? You know what it looks like.
- Blackwall: No. No it doesn't.
- Sera: You knoooow.
- Sera: So do all Gray Wardens have beards?
- Blackwall: Just me. I stole all the beards, and all the power stored within. There can be only one.
(If Inquisitor is in a relationship with Sera)
- Blackwall: How are you two?
- Sera: Me and Inky/Shiny/Tadwinks/'Teetness/Buckles/Honey Tongue? Fine. I mean, she's a leader. She has tension, and I get it gone.
- Sera: Too much? Too much.
- Blackwall: Hold on to it, Sera. Good things in wartime are rare as hen's teeth.
- Sera: Who went looking for that?
- Blackwall: Heh. Nevermind.
(If the inquisitor is an elf)
- Sera: We're both bony so it's like clackety-clackety-clack.
(If the Inquisitor used to be in a relationship with Blackwall but now in a relationship with Sera)
- Sera: Me and Inky/Shiny/Tadwinks/'Teetness/Buckles/Honey Tongue? Good, yeah?
- Sera: I mean, I'm aching. She's a handful. Two of 'em.
- Inquisitor: (laughs)
- Sera: Too much? Too much.
- Sera: Oh! Didn't you have something for her? Sorry.
- Blackwall: Not really. Nothing serious.
- Sera: It's not about you. Probably just parts. Like the beard and the... parts.
- Blackwall: That is me.
- Sera: Oh... right. Huh.
- Blackwall: You were in Denerim during the Blight, Sera? Did you see many Grey Wardens?
- Sera: Not a one. Not in person. They were killed or something?
- Blackwall: Or something. Betrayed while defending a nation.
- Sera: Right, well, I suppose there’s worse, yeah?
- Blackwall: Is there?
- Sera: Well yeah? Could have died defending some poncy fool’s hat. Or stepped in shit. Was it raining? Could have been raining.
- Blackwall: Point made. Could have been worse.
(Emprise du Lion, Elfsblood river, near statues covered in icicles)
- Sera: (Laughs.) Up there. Giant icicle tits! Ice.. tittles?
- Blackwall: You're looking for "titsicles."
- Sera: Oh, that's good.
- Vivienne: They were in fashion for a while, you know.
- Sera: No. Really?
- Vivienne: Absolutely.
- Blackwall: Right, how's it end?
- Sera: What? That tavern tale?
- Blackwall: Come on! You left off elbow deep in... circumstances. That can't be it.
- Sera: That wasn't her name, but yeah, that's as far as the story ever gets. Why are you complaining?
- Blackwall: Because I can't stop thinking about it. I need to know the end!
- Sera: Why would you want to stop? The whole point of the good bit is thinking about the good bit. If i tell the end, it ends!
- Sera: Bunch of moaners, this! Drag out the sad shit? "Yes, please." But hang on to a good bit? "Oh, can't have that."
- Sera: Frigging daft!
- Sera: Beardy!
- Blackwall: Fuzzyhead.
- Sera: (Laughs.) Grand!
- Sera: I once saw the empress's arse.
- Blackwall: Congratulations?
- Sera: Well, I didn't. I drew it and someone said it was a good likeness. That's a story about trust.
- Sera: I like you, you don't talk about elfy stuff.
- Blackwall: Like you'd know what you're talking about.
- Sera: Right, well pbtht.
Sera and Cassandra
- Sera: You're smirking again. Like in that fight before. What's so funny?
- Cassandra: The simplest spell had you white as a sheet. I've shrugged off worse in practice.
- Sera: Well, sorry I'm scared of the stuff I've been warned about my whole life––––like most people who aren't Seekers.
- Cassandra: I apologize. I could help if you're willing.
- Sera: Pfft! No, I have things to do. You can help by standing in front of me.
- Cassandra: That I can do.
- Sera: You know, you shouldn't make fun of people being scared of magic just because you can scare them back.
- Cassandra: I take it you think I'm frightening?
- Sera: Not naked, you're well fit. But all armored up and fierce? What do you think some stable boy sees?
- Cassandra: A Seeker on the side of righteousness.
- Sera: Here's what I learned in the alleys: "Ahh, mages! Ahh, templars! Ahh, Tevinters! Aaah, hungry!" When you're little, everything is "Ahh!"
- Cassandra: Sera, I'm sorry.
- Sera: Who's what now?
- Cassandra: My family is nobility. I've been in Seeker training since I was six. I walked with the Divine. I never stopped to consider what I looked like to someone common. I must seem terrifying.
- Sera: Nah, you're all right. Skip the "someone common" bit, though. Makes you seem a bit of a shit.
- Sera: What was she like? The Divine, I mean. Was she as pretty as her plates?
- Cassandra: Pretty as her what?
- Sera: Her plates with her portrait on. They sold them in the shops down in Val Royaux. You'd see them on walls a lot. Cost a bundle and you couldn't even eat off them. Well, part of them. The yellowy-brown paint's poisonous. Had to keep your mash off her eyes.
- Cassandra: They put Most Holy's portrait on plates?
- Sera: You good yet, Cassandra? Gonna tell me what she was like?
- Cassandra: Who? Oh, the Divine? Yes, I'm sorry. I'm not used to such unorthodox displays of faith. Most Holy was a visionary. I served as her Right Hand, and would have done so as long as she needed me.
- Sera: But you didn't know her.
- Cassandra: I just said I served as her Right Hand.
- Sera: Fine, whatever, I'll go ask Leliana. You can tell there was something with those two. Family pain, there.
- Cassandra: I...You were right, Sera. I find I did not know Justinia at all.
- Sera: Shame, right? She was pretty.
(If the Inquisitor is in a relationship with Sera)
- Cassandra: Sera, about you and the Inquisitor...
- Sera: Right, here we go. What is it from you?
- Cassandra: If you are going to pursue this, make it worth it. Be happy.
- Sera: You cagey, boxed up, prissy romantic!
- Cassandra: Ugh, there is no need to tell anyone that.
- Varric: Who doesn't already know, that is.
- Dorian: Who hasn't already seen your collection of books
- Vivienne: No need because it's hardly a secret, my dear!
- Sera: Hey Inky/Shiny/Tadwinks/'Teetness/Buckles/Honey Tongue? We telling anyone?
- Inquisitor: Does yelling while we're walking around count?
- Sera: No. Wait. Yes. Sorry Cassandra! But thanks!
- Inquisitor: Not a soul, Sera.
- Sera: Awwww, but you heard it, right? I heard it. Thanks, Cassandra.
(If the Inquisitor is in a relationship with Cassandra)
- Sera: You have a thing for the Inquisitor. His thing and your thing... doing things.
- Cassandra: Nothing so base as that!
- Sera: Awwwww. Sorry to hear it.
- Sera: How's that temple of demon rubbish sitting with you, Cassandra?
- Cassandra: I have faith the Inquisitor did as she/he felt best.
- Sera: Really? Lady Trained-From-Birth has no problem with a temple to everything the Chantry says is shit.
- Cassandra: I did not say I had no problem. I said I had faith.
- Sera: Stop pointing that at me!
- Cassandra: What are you talking about? My weapon is nowhere near...
- Sera: Your face. That sobby, pity face. Why are you aiming it at me?
(If Sera went into the Fade)
- Cassandra: I know what occurred in the fade troubled you. If you ever wish to talk...
- Sera: It's nothing. Just scary, rubbish demons that are done. We got out. Mostly. There. Talked. Now everything is good, right?
- Cassandra: Of course.
- Sera: Good! We're all good. Phew.
(If Sera did not go into the fade)
- Cassandra: I know what happened at Adamant troubled you. If you ever wish to talk.
- Sera: (S)he came back. That's all that matters. Maybe it's you who's still shaky. Everyone just needs to not think about it and feel better.
- Cassandra: You're right. I do feel better now.
- Sera: Hey, Cassandra! Were those really all your names or were you having them on?
- Cassandra: Having who on?
- Sera: At the Winter Palace. Were you having them on or are you really Cassandra Allergy Porta Fillomajig Pentaghast?
- Cassandra: It really is. My family is as pretentious as it is large.
- Sera: (Laughs.) How do you remember them all?
- Cassandra: I have them stitched into all my clothes.
(If Inquisitor is in a romance with Cassandra)
- Sera: Hey Inquisitor! Is that true? Do they fit across her underpants?
- Cassandra: You will not answer that.
(If Inquisitor is not in a romance with Cassandra)
- Sera: (Laughs.) No way that fits across your breeches.
- Cassandra: (Laughs.)
- Sera: So you and the Inquisitor don't seem so...you know...anymore.
- Cassandra: Some things cannot last.
- Sera: Yeah. Right. So is this awkward or...
- Inquisitor: Cassandra and I are still friends. I hope.
- Cassandra: I hope so, too.
- Sera: That's not so bad, then.
- Inquisitor: Surprising you would say that.
- Sera: Right. Awkward it is.
- Inquisitor: You're making it awkward.
- Sera: I am not. Well, now it is, but you said it!
- Cassandra: Perhaps this would be a good time to stop talking.
- Sera: Sure.
- Cassandra: It's fine, Sera, but this isn't the place to discuss it.
- Sera: You need a drink or something, you tell me.
- Cassandra: Sera, I was speaking with Dagna recently––––did you take some of her tools?
- Sera: Just the thing that removes the screwy bits. I thought I put it back. I'll put it back.
- Cassandra: Why did you have it in the first place?
- Sera: Needed it for the hinges.
- Cassandra: What hinges?
- Sera: Like on a door? Don't worry––––it's not for you.
- Cassandra: That's comforting.
- Sera: Cassandra, have you ever punched a bear?
- Cassandra: What? No. Why would I?
- Sera: Well, what's it for then? the training I mean. You've done harder then Cullen's soldiers. Must be for something,
- Cassandra: I am a seeker in the service of the Divine. I am a warrior of truth.
- Sera: Alright, alright. It just seems that you could punch a bear if you wanted.
- Cassandra: Sera, why would you assume that I should use my training to assault an animal?
- Sera: What, the punch a bear thing? I don't know. I just figured that you want to know if you could. I mean, I sometimes putt an arrow to see if I can hit something. Or did Andraste say not to use your training for fun? Fun for you I mean. Probably not fun for the bear. You got some reach on you.
- Cassandra: No. No, Andraste did not specifically say one should not punch bears.
- Sera: Well, there you go then.
- Cassandra: Sera, how are you not dead?
- Sera: What are you on about?
- Cassandra: I was trained from childhood by the greatest swordsmen of the age. You were apparently orphaned to the streets with your wits and a quiver. Neither full.
- Sera: Pft. You come from nobles, alright? Get over yourself. I'm not even near what real people live through.
- Sera: So Cassandra, if you were trained young, how long have you been giving Andraste's Hairy Eyeball?
- Cassandra: Andraste's what?
- Sera: The Sword-Eye-Hair thing. You know, "Knock-Knock. Inquisition." Andraste's Hairy Eyeball says "What are you doing?"
- Cassandra: The EYE is wreathed in fire. The light of the Maker and the flames of Andraste's Sacrifice.
- Sera: Oooooooooh. You need better painters. I just figured she was ginger.
- Cassandra: She was.
- Sera: Well, there you go, then.
- Cassandra: (Sighs) No. No there we don't go.
- Sera: You haven't used up all your guesses.
- Cassandra: I'm conceding. I wasn't very interested to begin with.
- Sera: Well then, just... cross your legs and guess?
- Cassandra: Conceding. I'm giving up.
- Sera: Some "Seeker" you are.
- Sera: Come on, make another guess!
- Cassandra: Ugh. Very well. In Thedas.
- Sera: It has to be a place! Not every place.
- Cassandra: Perhaps if you told me the rules.
- Sera: What rules? Everyone knows how to guess. Except you.
- Cassandra: Ugh!
- Cassandra: Here's a guess for you, Sera. Ansberg.
- Sera: Hmm. Not bad. It should sound more...southern.
- Cassandra: Fine then! Highever.
- Sera: You're not very good at this.
- Cassandra: I don't really know Ferelden that well.
- Sera: Just guess! Somewhere fun!
- Cassandra: Another guess, Sera. Were you born in Denerim?
- Sera: What? No, is that what you're trying for?
- Cassandra: That was the question that began this whole thing!
- Sera: That was your question. I was just hoping that something on the map would rhyme with "arse". Besides, I don't know or very much care where I was born.
- Cassandra: (sighs) (clears throat) Arse.
- Sera: (laughs) For me?
- Sera: So where were you born, Cassandra?
- Cassandra: Don't you want to guess?
- Sera: Fine. On a pile of the softest gold with big-hat priests patting your butt all singing and playing trumpets?
- Cassandra: What does that even....Ugh...I was born in a carriage halfway between Cumberland and Val Chevas.
- Sera: Hard one, you. Right on the floor?
- Cassandra: So my brother claimed. Not quite the lap of luxury you were picturing, I assume.
- Sera: Three eggs, a canary, and a soggy biscuit!
- Cassandra: Are we to know what that means?
- Sera: That joke I was telling where I couldn't remember the end bit? So the man says "Three eggs, a canary, and a soggy biscuit!" (giggles) Not bad, right?
- Cassandra: If somewhat blasphemous.
- Sera: Fffft. It's funny!
- Sera: What's the old inquisition motto, again?
- Cassandra: I'm not saying it again, Sera.
- Sera: Come on.
- Cassandra: (sighs) Into darkness, unafraid.
- Sera: Around the corner chocolate's made! (laughs)
- Cassandra: Maker preserve us.
- Sera: You just hate chocolate.
- Cassandra: Sera, I noticed one of my books is missing.
- Sera: Maybe check with Creepy. He touches everything.
- Cole: I like the stories in her head more than the stories on the page.
- Cassandra: Cole didn't take it.
- Sera: Right, which one?
- Cassandra: The one with all the illustrations.
- Sera: Oh, that one was full on. I threw it under your bed.
- Cassandra: You don't know how to ask permission first?
- Sera: Fine. Please can I NOT find more of your mucky little books. Drawings. Ew.
- Sera: So you spend a lot of time around dead people. Corpses.
- Cassandra: As Nevarrans we pay respect to the departed in family crypts.
- Sera: Pay respect. Like pose them and dress them up and such.
- Cassandra: Not in the way you're picturing.
- Sera: It sounds like a big, dead dollhouse. Dollhouses are creepy enough.
- Cassandra: (Sighs) Well, now you know.
- Sera: Rose! No, wait. Robin's Egg.
- Cassandra: Is this another game?
- Sera: Trying to guess the color of your underpants.
- Cassandra: I don't wear underpants.
- Sera: Pffft! Everyone hear that! (Laughs)
- Cassandra: Sera, was there ever someone actually named "Red Jenny"?
- Sera: There was. Maybe. Doesn't matter now.
- Cassandra: You don't ever wonder how your organization got started?
- Sera: Why? It isn't like a Chantry where starts matter.
- Cassandra: That would be giving it too much credit, that's true.
- Sera: I'd be careful. The one in Nevarra's mean.
- Sera: You’re from a rich family, Cassandra?
- Cassandra: Not every Pentaghast is wealthy. I certainly was not, once my parents were executed.
- Sera: You say that like it’s normal. But I suppose you did live with the dead.
- Cassandra: If by “dead” you mean a Mortalitasi necromancer--a keeper of the dead--then, yes.
- Sera: Well...that sounds shit.
- Cassandra: Hence my joining the Chantry.
- Cassandra: Sera, do you believe in the Maker?
- Sera: Yes? Some of it's a bit off, but - wait, why?
- Cassandra: I just thought, the way you've lived...
- Sera: What, I don't belong because I never joined some holy whatever?
- Cassandra: But you're a thief.
- Sera: I take back. And you kill people.
- Cassandra: True, but... only those I must.
- Sera: Ones who deserve it? Right, we're real different.
Sera and Cole
- Cole: She tried. The cookies were good until the hate made it bitter in your mouth.
- Sera: Not there Creepy. Go rooting in that part of me and I'll stripe you up, you hear?
- Cole: Everyone heard. You're scary in another place.
- Cole: Sera. My tongue wants to whistle on the start. Sera. But it has to stay still or the r is a d. Sera. Seda. Seda. De da de da. If you try, you can say it without moving your mouth, see? Serrra. Say it enough and it stops being a word. Sera, Sera, Sera, Sera, Serraa.
- Sera: Leave me alone.
- Cole: You like to dance, but can't. You hate to sing, but can. You should not paint. It would be very bad if you did.
(If Cole has been made more human):
- Sera: Could someone please shut him up? Or I am going to shaft him in his creepy little eyes.
- Cole: You... you called me him. Thank you!
- Sera: Ugh! How do you get so close to being human and then just not?
- Sera: Shut it up!
- Cole: You don't have to be afraid Sera. I won't hurt you.
- Sera: Go away.
- Cole: I won't stab you when you are looking somewhere else. I won't do that to your boots. Or that other thing to your arrows. I don't understand what that last thing is, but I won't do it either.
- Sera: Why does it keep talking at me?
- Sera: Could you at least not stare PAST my eyes? Creepy that.
- Cole: You aren't your eyes. You live behind them.
- Sera: See...? That right there, creepy!
- Cole: Your bow was a tree once. A girl with a long name met a boy with strong hands there.
- Cole: Her body warm, leaning against the trunk, hair tangled in branches and fingers. "Forever, no matter what."
- Cole: They cut letters in the bark. When her parents took her away, he cut the letters away to forget.
- Cole: Every time you pull it, the part that was a tree remembers. Can you feel it under your fingers?
- Cole: When you fire your bow, it hums after, every time.
- Cole: Your mind makes it quiet, but if you heard it backwards, it would sound longer, a thrum through the gut.
- Cole: But don't think about it, or you'll tense your shoulder like you do, and then your shot will go too far left.
- Sera: It's like its face doesn't know what it's saying! Eww!
- Sera: Have we been here? I mean right here, doing exactly this? It feels weird.
- Cole: Yes. But not how you mean.
- Cole: In the soft thin places, spirits push with memories that didn't happen. Or did. Or might.
- Cole: Before the door is open. They could just let the cat out, and it would always be alive.
- Sera: It's like its face doesn't know what it's saying! Eww!
Sera and Dorian
- Dorian: Where did you get all those arrows, Sera? You've got hundreds.
- Sera: From your arse!
- Dorian: Well my arse should open up a shop! Apparently it's quite prolific.
- Dorian: Indulge me, Sera. What do you think of when I say "demon?"
- Sera: Arrows.
- Dorian: Fine. "Magister?"
- Sera: Arrows.
- Dorian: Not helpful, but given our history, I'll accept it. "Thaumaturgy?"
- Sera: What?
- Dorian: Magical endeavors. Helpful wonders.
- Sera: Ohhh. Arrows.
- Dorian: (Sighs.)
- Sera: You don't laugh like a Tevinter.
- Dorian: How is a Tevinter supposed to laugh, exactly?
- Sera: Cruel and stupid, like... (cackles)
- Dorian: Oh no. You're not allowed to laugh like that until you get your magister license.
- Sera: Knew it! Varric owes me a sovereign.
- Sera: The people back in Tevinter, are they all just like you, Dorian?
- Dorian: Meaning what, exactly?
- Sera: You know; not scary, keeping their magic rubbish to themselves.
- Dorian: I'm going to take that as a compliment. Sadly, there's an element there who would welcome Corypheus with open arms. A stupidly short-sighted element.
- Sera: I know right? He's a pissbag.
- Dorian: Ha! Quite.
- Sera: So you're fat with it, right?
- Dorian: Me? Are you referring to...?
- Sera: Do you sleep on silk while gold shits down all over you? Are you rich?
- Dorian: I left all that behind. Although I do miss the gold-shitting from time to time.
- Sera: You really left it, huh? Knew you weren't all bad.
- Dorian: I have only one question, Sera: did you cut your own hair?
- Sera: Yeah. Why wouldn't I?
- Dorian: You could try using something other than a rusty butter knife.
- Sera: Oh, excuse me while I dig up my diamond-studded hair-cutter whatevers.
- Dorian: Scissors. The word you're looking for is "scissors."
- Sera: Pppbth!!
- Sera: Dorian? Those words you say. What do they mean?
- Dorian: What, you mean like "mendicant?" "Ultimatum?"
- Sera: No, arse, when you're mad. Pish-anty cough-ass. You're swearing, I know it.
- Dorian: Vishante kaffas. It's, Tevene, relics of the old tongue. We still use the colorful phrases.
- Sera: And it means what?
- Dorian: Literally? "You shit on my tongue."
- Sera: (Laughs.) Why not just say that?
- Dorian: A mystery for the ages.
- Dorian: I can't believe you're scared of magic, Sera. It's a gift as mundane to me as your bow to you. Surely you see there's nothing to fear in a properly used tool.
- Sera: Tell that to all the "proper" mages wavin' their tools in people's faces!
- Dorian: There's an image.
- Sera: What about Coryphemus? How many "proper tools" does he have under him?
- Varric: (if in party) Not hardly enough, if you ask me.
- Sera: And the rebel mages? How many "proper tools" have they raised?
- Dorian: That's not-- I don't think I can continue.
- Sera: Right, well, I don't care how gifted you are. Don't cram it where it's not wanted.
- Vivienne: (if in party) Maker, how does she not know?
- Blackwall: (if in party) (Laughs)
- Cole: (if in party) I'm lost.
- Sera: What, Dorian? Stop looking at me.
- Dorian: I'm wondering if familiarity would cure your suspicion of magic.
- Sera: I don't need to be familiar with your tool.
- Dorian: Please stop saying "tool," and consider how much magic can accomplish. There are benefits for you and everyone; as the Maker said, "magic exists to serve."
- Sera: I don't care. I like you, Dorian. Don't ruin it.
- Sera: Do me a favor Dorian give me some warning if you are going to bust out in demons or something.
- Dorian: (Laughs) How do you picture me busting out? I'm walking around and oops! Demon. I mean it could happen despite my training. You could also trip and impale your eye on an arrow.
- Sera: So, are you going to warn me or not?
- Dorian: Certainly. But only because you are so dear to me.
- Sera: Your Magisters. They all like Corphy-face?
- Dorian: Not quite. Corypheus is one-of-a-kind. An original darkspawn, it turns out.
- Sera: I mean, are they all crazy? Wanting to be gods? "Muahahaha!" like that?
- Dorian: Oh, that. Not all of them, but enough.
- Sera: And you let them live? Why?
- Dorian: There's always more where they come from. Men like Corypheus aren't born, they're made.
(During Wicked Eyes and Wicked Hearts)
- Dorian: Sera, what are you wearing? Are you sure it's dead?
- Sera: What, is there something -- oh, ha ha. Eat it.
(If the Inquisitor is in a romance with Dorian)
- Sera: You and the Inquisitor, hey? What is that like? Jousting?
- Dorian: Fewer horses, marginally. More cheering, definitely.
- Sera: (Laughs) Nice.
- Dorian: I can't believe you made it through the Winter Palace in one piece.
- Sera: Whatever, they talk plenty but if you don't play their stupid game, they're lost.
- Dorian: You don't play their stupid game, they send in an assassin through your way.
- Sera: Pfft, they can try, sure.
- Dorian: You have no problem with escalation, do you? (Chuckles)
- Sera: Not if I put enough arrows in it.
- Dorian: You must have been driven mad in the temple, hm?
- Sera: Knew I’d hate it, felt like choking down a peach-pit, knowing it would end bad.
- Dorian: It was mystifying. Lovely turn of phrase incidentally.
- Sera: Seriously, they passed like pine-cones.
- Dorian: Sad.. I would’ve given half a toe to have seen it.
- Sera: Maybe you should be nicer to certain someones.
(If in a Romance with The Inquisitor)
- Dorian: (chuckles) If I were any nicer to him, we’d be joined to the hip.
(if Dorian & The Inquisitor broken up or not in a relationship)
- Dorian: Yes... Well, that seems unlikely.
(If Inquisitor is not in a romance with Iron Bull or Dorian)
- Sera: (laughs)
- Dorian: Something particularly funny?
- Sera: You. And Bull. (laughs)
- Dorian: I-I'm glad it amuses you, but what I get from my affairs is my affair.
- Sera: I know what you get.
- Sera: It's like falling through a tree into custard.
- Sera: Too high! Wham! Too fast! Wham! Leaves! Wham! Splat!
- Dorian: I'm not sure which is worse, the mockery or the accuracy.
- Iron Bull: (if in party) Eh, depends how much rest the trees had.
- Cole: (if in party)Leaves.
- Varric: (if in party) Leaves?
(If Inquisitor is in a romance with Sera)
- Dorian: I see you're having fun with your illustrious paramour.
- Sera: What? Is it showing?
- Dorian: (if Inquisitor is a mage) No! Ugh, no! I meant you appear to be enjoying your new relationship.
- Dorian: You couldn't ask for a more personal introduction to magic.
- Sera: She's different, so it doesn't matter.
- Dorian: It's that simple?
- Sera: Could be. Why not?
- Dorian: (if Inquisitor is not a mage) I meant you appear to be enjoying your new relationship.
- Sera: Then why didn't you say that?
- Dorian: I did, in words you apparently don't understand.
- Sera: What's the point of words you know, but others don't? Who would you say them to?
- Dorian: Let me do us both a favor and retract the question.
- Sera: Pity, because we're great. That's why I'm following her around with weirdies.
- Sera: Demons! Flappy robes!
- Dorian: Thieves! Dog stink!
- Sera: Culty shits!
- Dorian: Treacherous teyrns!
- Sera: What? It's not a proper game of 'Your people are shit' if you make up words!
- Dorian: Teyrn is a Fereldan title, beneath only the family of the king. I'd have expected you of all people to know that.
- Sera: You're...well, that's...Smartasses!
- Dorian: Too late! I believe that's my round.
- Sera: Piss!
- Dorian: I can't figure you out, Sera.
- Sera: That's a surprise, innit?
- Dorian: You just picked up a bow one day, and poof! Expert marksman! A veritable savant!
- Sera: A what?
- Dorian: A savant. A natural. Meaning you needed no training.
- Sera: Not your business if I do or didn't. Like I don't ask if you "naturally" shoot fireballs out your arse, or just opinions.
- Dorian: I'll... keep that in mind.
- Dorian: You know, I've never met an elf quite like you Sera.
- Sera: I don't doubt it. They all slaves where you're from.
- Dorian: Not all of them, but yes... you have a point.
- Sera: You ever talked to one who wasn't?
- Dorian: No, but I'm glad I have now.
- Sera: People are people, who knew?
- Dorian: For hating the outdoors, you sure seem to like bad weather.
- Sera: What’s that now?
- Dorian: The other day, you were outside in the rain, staring up with a grin on your face.
- Sera: I smile at clouds.
- Dorian: Of course you do.
- Sera: What, I should hunch and swear at the rain pissing off my nose? Let the weather win? I smile the frig out of clouds.
- Sera: Maybe they get tired of trying.
- Dorian: Are we still talking about clouds?
- Sera: What?
- Dorian: Never mind. Drinks and insults later?
- Sera: We’re both buying. Then there’s double.
- Sera: Are they losing their minds in Tevinter? I bet they are.
- Dorian: About anything in particular?
- Sera: The Inquisition. I mean, you people believe weird stuff, right? About Andraste?
- Dorian: Most of the Imperial Chantry’s teachings are the same as in the south…despite some finicky bits about magic.
- Sera: The parts where you’re wrong?
- Dorian: Yes. Quite. The parts where we’re “wrong.”
Sera and Iron Bull
- Iron Bull: Sera, I had a thought. The next time we run into a line of enemies, I'll pick you up and throw you.
- Sera: Get off.
- Iron Bull: No! This could work! I loft you over the front rank, and you land behind them to flank ... mayhem ensues.
- Sera: I can't fly, you daft tit!
- Iron Bull: Think of the mayhem, Sera! Mayhem.
- Sera: I'd get a wedge-up something fierce!
- Iron Bull: Look, you and Varric are the only ones small enough and he's... pretty dense.
(If Varric is in the party)
- Varric: Ouch!
- Sera: Well, do some bloody presses!
(Only occurs if the Inquisitor is not a female Qunari.)
- Sera: So, Bull. What are your women like?
- Iron Bull: The Tamassrans? Terrifying... and inspiring. They teach you everything you need to know. Give your life purpose.
- Sera: No, I mean, are they like you? Big and... phwoar.
- Iron Bull: Oh, shit yeah.
- Sera: (Laughs.) Wow.
- Sera: You're not gonna start that Qun rubbish where you try to convert me, are you?
- Iron Bull: (Laughs for a long time.) Uh, no.
- Sera: What's so funny about that?
- Iron Bull: You, uhh, you aren't really viddathari material.
- Sera: What's that mean? I can be a videe... vivi... one of those things.
- Sera: Bloody good one, too.
- Iron Bull: Hey, Sera, you see the blonde a few towns back? She was easy on the eyes.
- Sera: The one with the huge ditties?
- Iron Bull: No! Well, yes, but…
- Iron Bull: What about the fancy bow on her apron, dangling all long and sassy, so someone could ease it open with one slow pull?
- Iron Bull: You have to see the little details to get the whole person, Sera. There’s a woman behind those tits.
- Sera: Yeah, waaaay behind.
- Iron Bull: Remember that red-head a few towns back?
- Sera: Too elfy.
- Iron Bull: Your loss.
- Sera: Pffft. Whatever.
- Sera: How do you and elves even work?
(if the inquisitor is in a relationship with Iron Bull)
- Sera: You're bedding the Inquisitor.
- Iron Bull: Sometimes. Usually it's just against the wall.
- Inquisitor: Bull no.
- Iron Bull: She sort of asked.
- Inquisitor: (laughs) hmmm.
- Sera: What's so funny? oh because you do it standing! (laughs)
(If Cassandra is in the party)
- Cassandra: Moving on.
(If the Inquisitor is in a relationship with Sera)
- Sera: So Bull, you two are flirty right?
- Iron Bull: It's just a friendly. I won't step in your business.
- Sera: Frigging right you won't.
- Iron Bull: Relax. I don't want you lodged somewhere.
(If the Inquisitor used to be in a relationship with Iron Bull but now in a relationship with Sera)
- Iron Bull: So, you and the Boss huh?
- Sera: Oh that's right. You and she had.. Sorry. right?
- Iron Bull: (Chuckles) Hey, no hard feelings. Glad I loosened the lid for you.
- Sera: Pfft! (laughs)
- Inquisitor: That's enough both of you!
- Iron Bull: Fine fine. Touchy.
- Inquisitor: If you are going to gossip. Don't do it when I'm here.
- Sera: Oh loosen up you! See what I did? I did it too! (laughs)
- Sera: I think she's turning purple.
- Iron Bull: Not the first time.
(If Cassandra is in the party) Cassandra: Ugh. (If Cole is in the party) Cole: Why does she carry a jar down there? Is there something in her hands? (If Solas is in the party) Solas: I am decidedly uncomfortable.
- Iron Bull: So, you and the boss huh?
- Sera: I know right?
- Iron Bull: Didn't think you were the kind to bed your way to power.
- Sera: Power bed it's way to me. Big beautiful difference.
- Inquisitor: You tell him! love you too.
- Sera: See?
- Iron Bull: I stand corrected.
- Iron Bull:So, you and the boss huh?
- Sera:I know right?
- Iron Bull:Didn't think you were the kind to bed your way to power.
- Sera: Hey! You take that back!
- Iron Bull: What? I didn't mean anything by it!
- Sera: But this matters. You don't talk piss about what matters.
- Iron Bull: So it matters, huh? Good to know.
- Iron Bull: Sera, how did you get an entire beehive into Cullen's training dummy?
- Sera: I don't know. Can't remember.
- Iron Bull: Wait, do you think it was that magic Cole does? Like he helped you and then made you forget?
- Sera: What? No! Piss, now it’s in my head!
- Sera: Why’d you say that? You ruined a good beehive! Arse.
- Iron Bull: Sera, How did you get an entire beehive into Cullen's training dummy?
- Sera: I don't know, Can't remember.
- Sera: What? Things go sideways if you think too hard.
- Iron Bull: But it's a beehive. Full of bees. Most people would pay attention.
- Sera: That's why most people get stung.
Sera and Solas
- Sera: You can make magic anywhere, Solas? Ever piss it by accident?
- Solas: No. Wait... No.
- Sera: What? How would you not remember something like that?
- Solas: We were all young once.
- Solas: Ar dirthan'as ir elgara, ma'sula e'var vhenan.
- Sera: Pppbbthh!
- Solas: Excuse me?
- Sera: Excuse yourself, whatever you said and what I did, same difference to me.
- Solas: I'd hoped, well, our people can sometimes feel the rhythm of the language despite lacking the vocabulary.
- Sera: Uh huh? Know what else is good? Words that mean things. Like these, words.
- Solas: Fenedhis lasa.
- Sera: Hey, Solas! Droopy-ears-says-what?
- Solas: ... excuse me?
- Sera: Ugh, you're no fun!
- Sera: (shivers) Weird.
- Solas: Sera? What are you feeling?
- Sera: Ugh, here we go. It’s nothing, it just feels like I've seen this. Exactly this. It happens.
- Solas: Not to everyone.
(If Inquisitor is an elf)
- Sera: It’s not an elf thing. Inquisitor's not shaking.
- Sera: It’s not an elf thing. You’re not shaking.
- Sera: I suppose now you’ll switch to how I’m the same but different?
- Solas: You are different. You are the furthest from what you were meant to be.
- Sera: Well I’ve definitely heard piss like this before. Hmph!
- Solas: Have you ever had any interest in learning magic, Sera? While it has not manifested naturally, there are ways to determine whether arcane gifts lie dormant within you.
- Sera: What? Don't make me think about that. I have to sleep at night!
- Solas: Sleeping would give you the chance to explore the Fade. I could introduce you to spirits.
- Sera: Right, you're messing with me on purpose!
- Solas: Why would I do that? It is not as though I know who filled my bedroll with lizards.
- Sera: Heh. Fair point! That was pretty good.
- Solas: Our people used to be here.
- Sera: Pfft, you say that everywhere.
- Solas: It is more true than you want to believe.
- Sera: I bet, right? Who wants to think about stepping on dead elves.
- Solas: Din elvhen emma him?
- Sera: Oh, you felt that one.
- Solas: Sera, if you eschew all things elven, why not a crossbow? It certainly takes less training.
- Sera: Ugh, too much winchiness.
- Solas: Ah, yes. Winchiness. A point I had not considered.
- Solas: What color is the sky, Sera?
- Sera: Hang on.
- Solas: It is an earnest question. What color is the sky when you look at it?
- Sera: You know, blue mostly. Except for the Breachy bits.
- Solas: And when you looked past the Breach? As perhaps you were drawn to do?
- Sera: Greenish? Then clear a long ways, and kind of...felt like falling.
- Sera: Ugh! Makes my head hurt. You make my head hurt.
- Solas: We are not so far apart, you and I.
- Sera: We will be.
- Solas: Sera, I notice that in a recent fight, you killed someone I was already dealing with.
- Sera: You were doing it too slow.
- Solas: Just to be clear. You wish me to manipulate the delicate balance of the primordial energy of the Fade... faster.
- Sera: You're not making it worse. It's bad enough you people do that at all!
- Solas: I heard about your organization, Sera. I am impressed.
- Sera: Is this a trick?
- Solas: Hardly. But it is an opportunity. You have already divided your group's membership. That is wise. No one cell can betray all your secrets. The next step is to establish a rhythm. When your enemies pursue, you vanish. When they become complacent, you harass them. When they are weak, you strike in earnest.
- Sera: Where d'you get all this, then?
- Solas: Do you wish to be unnerved by another tale of my explorations of the Fade? Or do you wish to learn something?
- Sera: I don't know. Neither?
- Solas: Once you have the aristocracy weakened, Sera, you will have to redirect your lieutenants.
- Sera: Oh, this again. All right, what am I doing?
- Solas: Some of your forces, valuable until now, have no interests beyond creating disruption. Chaos for its own sake. They must be repositioned where they can do no harm, or removed if necessary. You replace them with organizers willing to build a new system and carry out the ugly work that must be done.
- Sera: What? Why? What ugly work?
- Solas: That is up to you. Do you wish to disrupt the nobility, secure a title? Or change the political structure entirely?
- Sera: None of it! I don't want any of that!
- Solas: I do not understand you, Sera. You do not have an end goal for your organization.
- Sera: Nobles get rattled, and people get payback. I play in the middle.
- Solas: Why not go all the way? You see injustice. And you have organized a group to fight it. Don't you want to replace it with something better?
- Sera: What, just lop off the top? What does that do, except make a new top to frig it all up?
- Solas: I...forgive me. You are right. You are fine as you are.
- Sera: You hurt my head sometimes, Solas.
- Solas: Yes, I have been known to do that.
(If Inquisitor is in a relationship with Solas)
- Sera: So, you and the Lady Inquisitor. Interesting.
- Solas: Your interest is not my concern.
- Sera: That's all right, because I meant boring. The elf always takes the elf so that banging bits will mean something.
- Solas: It is not a topic for discussion.
- Sera: Oh, come on. Drop 'em and rebuild the empire. Phwoar!
- Inquisitor: Sera! No more!
- Sera: Hmph! Fine. Whatever.
- Solas: Don't concern yourself, vhenan. She is… apart from herself.
- Inquisitor: (Laughter) You're ridiculous.
- Sera: Not me. It's him! And you.
- Solas: Only one of us is looking sad and foolish, Sera.
- Sera: Oh, go twang your ears!
(If Sera is in a relationship with an elven Inquisitor)
- Solas: I am not surprised you were drawn to the Inquisitor, Sera.
- Sera: Why? You fancy her too?
- Solas: I meant that it seems natural that you would desire another elf.
- Sera: Hey, Inky? Was I jumping you full on, or did I say something about you being elfy?
- Inquisitor: You were... hesitant about me.
- Sera: I know, right? And you're so good. She really is.
- Solas: You were that concerned she was your own kind?
- Sera: My own kind can be a bit of an arse-hole.
- Inquisitor: That's personal. I'm not getting into it.
- Sera: He made it a thing!
- Inquisitor: Quiet, both of you.
- Solas: As you would have it.───────
- Sera: (Belches, then laughs.) Hey Solas, how do you say "excuse me" in elven or whatever?
- Solas: For you, it would be "ara seranna-ma." It is a coincidence that your name is within, the base form is common.
- Sera: Thanks. Now when I don't say it, you'll know it's on purpose.
Sera and Varric
- Sera: Stop doing that. I can hear how you’re looking at me. You’re doing that thing where you describe what we’re doing.
- Varric: Narration. And you can hear how I’m looking?
- Sera: That’s a thing. Just stop it.
- Varric: I will try my best not to do the impossible.
- Varric: Enjoying the Inquisition so far, Buttercup?
- Sera: Oh sure, right? Happy as a pig in clover.
- Varric: Shit.
- Sera: What?
- Varric: The phrase is commonly “happy as a pig in shit”.
- Sera: Really? Eugh. Nature’s rubbish.
- Varric: No argument there.
- Sera: Alright, why “Buttercup”?
- Varric: You seem the type. Or exactly not the type. I forget how these things are supposed to work sometimes.
- Sera: You don’t forget anything.
- Varric: And you noticed! That’s why you’re Buttercup.
- Sera: So why are you here? Slumming it with us lowlies? Get your fun that way?
- Varric: You’ve seen nobles. You think I’d get any fun hanging out with them?
- Sera: Right. “Them”.
- Sera: Dwarves are weird.
- Varric: No argument here.
- Sera: You’re doing this wrong!
- Sera: I read one of your books, Varric.
- Varric: The whole book?
- Sera: Shut it. Anyway, it was boring. Your "adventures" are boring. I've seen way better just walking around.
- Varric: That's because you do things. Escapist fiction for you would be cross-stitch or knitting.
- Sera: Oh! Knitting is brilliant! It's stabby sewing!
- Sera: Aren’t you supposed to tell fun stories? Why are they all so boring?
- Varric: See, I’d be offended if I didn’t know your “boring” actually means “made of words”.
- Varric: So what exactly is the deal with the Friends of Red Jenny?
- Sera: Why are you lot always on about this? There's no deal. You just do things.
- Varric: Just... "things" like... whatever.
- Sera: Just things.
- Varric: Like the, what, the hundred or so groups in Kirkwall, that sat around all night dressed as guards or exotic dancers, waiting to jump out and hit someone?
- Sera: Nah, a friend shut them out. But they were legend, right?
- Varric: Seriously, Buttercup, nothing about the way you run things could possibly work!
- Sera: They work. They’ve done more. This is just...what I do.
- Varric: Well what you do doesn’t make sense!
- Sera: Oh yeah? Well you don’t make sense either!
- Varric: (sigh) Should I push, or am I just setting myself up for “Your face doesn’t make sense”?
- Sera: Your--shut it!
- Varric: You were in Denerim, huh?
- Sera: I’ve been lots of places.
- Varric: From what I’ve heard, the Jenny thing wasn’t so playful down there.
- Sera: Right, well, everyone knows an arse or two.
- Varric: I’m just saying, it seems like you’re not having the effect you could.
- Sera: Well, hello third arse.
- Varric: You know, Buttercup, you might get better results from your Friends if you planned ahead a little.
- Sera: See? That’s how I know you’re not really one of us. You think like a noble.
- Varric: Nah, I’m more of a pretender, really.
- Sera: You--what?
- Varric: I’ll keep acting like a big shot and hope it sticks. That’s pretty much how the surface dwarf thing works.
- Varric: Doesn’t matter. Point is, if you put a little more work in, you could pull off much bigger pranks!
- Varric: Think about it.
- Varric: So you bagged the silver, sent letters the first night, then six Friends by the river?
- Sera: Bartered the keys and never even saw Lordy. Half the fun, but that’s alright. Twice the take!
- Varric: Ah, that was just the start, Buttercup! A maneuver to increase pressure and reward in a secondary caper.
- Sera: Yeah! A what?
- Inquisitor: You two aren’t causing too much trouble, I hope.
- Varric: Causing? No. Harnessing is a better word.
- Sera: Smarty-pants here really knows how to wring them out.
- Inquisitor: I’m sure this spirit of cooperation will benefit the Inquisition somehow.
- Varric: I would say we have indeed made investments that will flower in future dividends.
- Sera: I’m buying you two crowns!
- Sera: I dunno why you’re so smug. I know way more people than you.
- Varric: Quality over quantity.
- Sera: Pbblt! Winner over loser.
- Sera: You’re not better than me, you know.
- Varric: When did that come up?
- Sera: So what if you have friends who do shit for you and are organized?
- Varric: I’m pretty sure we were never having this fight, Buttercup.
- Varric: And probably still aren’t.
- Sera: That problem you had down the Bannorn? Fixed it.
- Varric: Now why would you think I had concerns out that way?
- Sera: I’m still better at having chatty friends. Anyway, your caravan got away.
- Varric: Hypothetically, how many people did that cost?
- Sera: One angry cook and a side of bad pork. The shits stop a search as well as anything. Not every plan needs days and ropes and stuff.
- Varric: Buttercup, the kitchen’s missing all their lard. Was that you?
- Sera: (snorting laughter) Yeah.
- Varric: You know, I don’t even want to ask what you did with it. I just want to say...
- Varric: Nice work.
- Sera: Who names their bow? It’s just a thing. That’s stupid.
- Varric: It’s a crossbow. One of a kind. And far smarter than current company.
- Sera: Oh, kiss it already. And tell Booty, Coaty and...Other Booty, I’m real sorry.
- Varric: We’re a very forgiving family.
- Varric: You’re eyeing Bianca, Buttercup. She’s taken.
- Sera: That thing is too complicated. Lots to break.
- Varric: She’s a particular lady, but the rewards more than match the effort.
- Sera: That means you agree but don’t want her to know. But “she’s” just a thing!
- Varric: Someone’s jealous. She has that effect.
- Sera: Someone’s an arse. You. You’re an arse.
- Sera: So Bianca? (giggles)
- Varric: Nope. Not going there.
- Sera: That's what she said, probably. Because you two are friggin weird.
- Varric: Fair point, Buttercup. Fair point.
- Sera: Why don't you have real Bianca instead of fingering your fake?
- Varric: It's... complicated.
- Sera: But you handle things. Secret network and all that.
- Varric: Dwarven ways are dug in deep. Let's just say I don't quite have the reach. She lacks a certain flexibility.
- Sera: Pity. Now I wonder how you two look naked.
- Varric: Like I said I don't have the- you know. I'll just leave that one to you.
(Occurs after What Pride Had Wrought)
- Sera: (sing-song) La la la la la, Sentinals are shits.
- Varric: Like it or not, Buttercup, that’s where you come from.
- Sera: Says the undwarfiest dwarf ever!
- Varric: Fair enough. Paragons can be shits too.
(If Inquisitor is in a relationship with Sera)
- Varric: Be careful Buttercup. These sorts of romances often don't end well.
- Sera: What sorts? What are you on about now?
- Varric: You bagged yourself a rare breed, the driver of a story, a protagonist. And a good story. Well, that's about hurting good characters and seeing how they react. I've seen it. And wrote it. A thousand times. Expect some dramatic bumps in the road that's all.
- Sera: She's human. Not whatever you said. Weirdy.
(If the Inquisitor is a dwarf and in a relationship with Sera)
- Sera: I think it bugs her that dwarves are so smooshy.
- Varric: We are adorable.
- Sera: You? You’re just itchy. With your hair and...words.
- Varric: But still irresistibly cute. It’s my burden to bear.
Sera and Vivienne
- Sera: I've heard things about you, Vivvy.
- Vivienne: It is properly Madame Vivienne, official mage to the Imperial Court.
- Sera: Yes, that’s what I heard. Not the title, the snotty bit.
- Vivienne: How ever shall I recover from your condemnation?
- Sera: You’re still doing it. Can you even shut it off?
- Vivienne: For you, my dear? No.
- Sera: Everyone look away. I need to find a place to pee.
- Vivienne: Could you be more of an embarrassment in what the Inquisitor and I are trying to accomplish?
- Sera: Everyone look over here! Vivienne needs to pee!
- Vivienne: I have something for your silly group, Sera dear.
- Sera: Right, I bet you have plenty.
- Vivienne: A simple note for your Red Jenny associates. I believe it may point to anonymous holdings of one Lord Samerath.
- Sera: I know him! Pisshead's hard as ice with his people.
- Vivienne: Indeed. It would be a shame if his involvement in certain activities was revealed, his position at court weakened.
- Sera: So, we hurt a real prick! But you swoop in? We help people, but it helps you more? (Frustrated growl.)
- Vivienne: Try not to cry openly, dear, it is ever so demeaning.
- Vivienne: What is that horrendous smell?
- Sera: Nothing!
- Vivienne: Where... where is it coming from?
- Sera: Nowhere!
- Vivienne: (Sighs)
- Sera: Hey Viv! Vivvy! Look at this! I've got something for you!
- Vivienne: Darling, it's your bottom. Again. As bony and sad as it was the last dozen times you've displayed it.
- Sera: It's my butt!
- Vivienne: Maker, however shall I endure this horror. Someone fetch me a fainting couch.
- Sera: They'll never really like you, Vivvy.
- Vivienne: Sera, dear, whatever has your scattered mind conjured now?
- Sera: Those nobs in Orlais. They barely like their own kin. And you're a mage.
- Vivienne: Your failing--among many--is that you presume I desire approval. Power does not require that I be "liked."
- Sera: Well, halfway there, then.
- Vivienne: If I might be so bold, Inquisitor, is this the company you would present as the Inquisition?
- Sera: I know, right? You people are weird.
- Vivienne: Thank you for illustrating the point.
- Sera: What, you think you’re better than me?
- Vivienne: It’s nothing personal, dear. I am demonstrably better than most. That you so thoroughly prove it is hardly my fault.
- Sera: Pretty sure she thinks she’s better than me.
- Vivienne: (laughs) Oh, this is truly, truly sad.
- Sera: (Coughs) Who's a bitch?
- Vivienne: Charming, darling.
- Sera: Fact.
- Sera: I sent a box of rabbit raisins to some Lord What's-his-tits in your name.
- Vivienne: That explains the letter of gratitude. They were, by all accounts, delicious.
- Sera: Ewww! Ew, ewww!
- Vivienne: You underestimate both the fragility of his holdings, and the severity of tribute demanded of him in the past.
- Vivienne: Perhaps he was grateful it was not a stew made of some lesser cousin.
- Sera: That's lies, right? Must be lies.
- Sera: Enjoying your food lately, Vivvy?
- Vivienne: Ugh. Shall I assume you have altered my meals? Set the servants against me and encouraged sputum-based rebellion?
- Sera: Of course not, I would never. But you can't know, right?
- Vivienne: (Sighs.) Rest assured, I will eat privately from my own stores from now on.
- Blackwall: Whose idea was that, then?
- Sera: Varri--MINE!
- Sera: Cruel bunch, your lot, Vivvy. Don't know how you live with what they think of you.
- Vivienne: My dear, despite your egalitarian protests you are ever so susceptible to the opinions of others.
- Sera: I don't give a squirt what anyone says.
- Vivienne: Of course not, coherent speech is your nemesis, but it is clear you care a great deal about what they /think/.
- Vivienne: Take heart that you are not among the nobility, little Sera. You would not survive.
- Sera: No one wants to join your stupid club!
- Vivienne: Of course not, dear.
- Sera: I bet you left a trail.
- Vivienne: Whatever are you on about now, dear?
- Sera: What you used to be. Wherever you're from. Little people will know about you.
- Vivienne: We all have something we used to be, haven't "we," dear? Done things "we" would rather die than have known?
- Vivienne: By all means, escalate, but I will answer in kind, armed with painful history I am sure is better left to your own sad memory.
- Sera: She's frigging evil, she is.
- Sera: You're not so scary, Vivvy. Maybe I can't bug you, but you can't bug me neither.
- Vivienne: My dear, I have not attempted to "bug you.".
- Sera: Yes you have.
- Vivienne: I assure you, I have not.
- Sera: You ruddy well tried, and it hasn't friggin worked! Got it?
- Vivienne: Of course, Sera, dear. I understand completely.
- Vivienne: Three keys to locks that have been changed, a schedule for a journey not taken, and two names of servants no longer employed.
- Sera: I don't... I don't know what you're on about.
- Vivienne: The now-useless items passed to you by those in my employ. I do hope you have alternative plans for the evening.
- Sera: Joke's on you, I only had one key.
- Sera: Took your knickers, Vivvy
- Vivienne: I purchased more of a higher quality
- Sera: Well that's... you're not doing this right!
- Sera: Checked your drawers recently, Vivvy?
- Vivienne: Hmm? Oh, yes, my dear. Although I was rather well stocked with that particular shade of viper. So I sent it back.
- Sera: Sent... sent it back?
- Vivienne: Yes. It should make its way to you at some point.
- Vivienne: I was most concerned it might have difficulty on the steps, so I gave it legs. Six of them.
- Sera: That's not... you're making fun, right?
- Vivienne: Do you sleep with your mouth open? I should avoid that, it was heavy with eggs. Skitter skitter.
(after Wicked Eyes and Wicked Hearts)
- Vivienne: I assume you were properly impressed by Halamshiral? It is rare to be welcomed in the halls of power.
- Sera: A golden shitter. Their servants come down the streets to drink the abuse away. You can have it.
- Vivienne: Oh, I will. And I'll be sure to entertain your requests for orphan salve or whatever you are championing on the day.
- Sera: You all think no one can touch you, but I say a kind word to a butler and I'm in your vault. Because he hates you.
- Vivienne: And I'll fill it just to watch you scurry from the gutter. Again and again and again.
- Vivienne: Big vault. Little elf.
- Sera: Yes, well, everyone says you're fat.