This Forum has been archived

Visit Discussions
Forums: Index > Lore Discussion > Who do you want to punch in the face?
Note: This topic has been unedited for 2437 days. It is considered archived - the discussion is over. Do not continue it unless it really needs a response.

If you've played the games and/or read the books then you probably have characters that you love and hate. So I ask, who would punch in the face and why? Literally just a quick, good shot in the jaw. I'll start.

Adrian: If you’ve read Asunder you know why. A punch is actually too good for her, a sword through the gut would be better…

Arl Eamon: He sends Alistair to a place where he is not happy and dooms him to a life he would never be happy in. And no one seems to bring this up in game.

Fiona: Decided that fighting for the Mages freedom is more important than protecting the world from the Darkspawn. Which she gave up her son, whose birth was actually rather miraculous, and the man she loved for, so in short Mage Freedom > Darkspawn > Family and Lover. This is the exact opposite of what I would have been ok with.

Maric: Despite being named ‘Maric The Savior’ did nothing to improve the lives of the less fortunate in his nation, he just rebuilt and restored nobility. Alistair, unhardened, does more on default after being king for what? A couple of months? He rebuilt Ferelden after a Blight, a civil war, gave the City Elves a spot on his council, the Dalish land to call home, sent soldiers or supplies to Orzammar, and tried to free the Circle of Magi, if asked. Maric doesn’t amount to s**t next to Alistair.

Wynne: I’m not sure how this would be possible as she is *SPOILER* dead but with Leliana coming back from, what I’ve heard, beheadings I’m sure they can work in her ghost. And after her pompous attitude in Asunder and generally Origins, I’m ready to punch that Zombie Ghost Wynne in the face. (talk) 03:55, May 10, 2012 (UTC)

not to mention that Eamon doesn't stop Anora from executing Alistair--R0B45 (talk) 07:04, June 16, 2012 (UTC)

Fenris: Just one punch? To make a point? Then totally Fenris. I love the guy, but when I heard Anders tell Fenris that "mages are slaves" and that Fenris should care about freeing them, and Fenris' answer wasn't "mages aren't slaves" but "I ~don't" (care about freeing them), I just. The best part was that my Hawke was a sarcastic apostate and I can just see him making sideways eyes throughout that entire conversation.--Singewood (talk) 04:01, May 10, 2012 (UTC)

And I'd like to punch Anders, when he said Fenris, he's just jealous. Andy was so shortsighted because of Varania being a mage. Doesn't matter his sister was a mage, she sold her own brother, that's evil and Andy quickly forgot about it. After Andy blows up the Chnatry, I also wish to punch him into stomach, punch him in jaw to bleeding and cut off his head. —Preceding unsigned comment added by (talk)

Petrice. Her fanatic dogma and "I'm right, you're wrong and you all need MY saving" drives me crazy. -Gabriellesig 04:13, May 10, 2012 (UTC)

Seconded. Asherinka (talk) 12:28, May 10, 2012 (UTC)
Third'ed :D EzzyD (talk) 13:29, May 10, 2012 (UTC)
Fourth'ed. Although... is the murder knife an option too? *puppy eyes* Oh, and Goldanna, she absolutely has it coming. Kestrella (talk) 14:44, May 10, 2012 (UTC)
Wow. Petrice really is a popular punching bag. -Gabriellesig 10:27, May 11, 2012 (UTC)
Personally I wanted to deck her about 5 seconds after meeting her. It only got worse after that. Still hate that the game mechanics prevented me from murder-knifing her after she set Hawke up. Kestrella (talk) 21:11, May 16, 2012 (UTC)
Fifth'ed. She was more of a monster than the Qunari. Whenever I dealt with her, that was pretty much the only time I used aggresive dialogue options. Arctistor23 (talk) 14:27, June 11, 2012 (UTC)
Punch? I wanted to stick my blade through her belly the first time she tricked me. For unexplicable reason (where did player choice just vanish?) I didn't. I wanted to slice her throat the second time i saw her, but still didn't. I still feel kind of stolen from that experience ;)

--Musik91 (talk) 01:27, June 17, 2012 (UTC) Any major character in Dragon Age II because each lacks sufficient redeeming qualities. Otherwise, Mike Laidlaw because he is one of the driving forces behind the degradation of BioWare. ChomskyDisciple (talk) 05:18, May 10, 2012 (UTC)

Zevran, but only because he is the companion I care least about. Also @OP Fiona gave up the Wardens because she was no longer carrying the taint at the end of the Calling. She is no longer a functional Grey Warden. And seriously, death animations are not canon or story telling devices. Stop complaining about beheading Leliana and her being alive. Tommyspa (talk) 04:47, May 10, 2012 (UTC)

OP, I fail to see how Maric didn't help the less fortunate in Ferelden. Everyone agrees that the freeholders were much better off under him than they were under Orlais. Also, to the topic at hand, I'd punch Cauthrien in the face multiple times. She's far too arrogant. Rathian Warrior (talk) 11:07, May 10, 2012 (UTC)

I would punch Gorim for acting so completely out of character and betraying everything he once believed in for the first piece of surface caste totty that he was offered. So much for my faithful second!--Kroem (talk) 11:13, May 10, 2012 (UTC)

I'm afraid that my list will be too long to include and still make me look rational. :P EzzyD (talk) 13:31, May 10, 2012 (UTC)

I would definitely love to pimp slap Anora. As for punching it would have to be Ser Cauthrien for being so stupid, each and everyone of those superstitious villagers from Haven, and Orsino for helping Quentin escape from templars. —Preceding unsigned comment added by (talk)

^ Agreed. I wanna beat the cr*p out of Anora. I just hate her. Goldanna too, she's such a b*tch. --Sencilia (talk) 14:19, May 10, 2012 (UTC)
Right! Anora is such a traitorous bitch! But she is Loghain's child, who would expect that traitor's brat to be a fair and honest person? Still, I'd like to punch her into her fake lying face.

Isolde! I am surprised to one said her yet. Oh wait... You do get to punch her in the face! Yet that doesn't feel like its enough... neither is killing her son... is there a mod or such to help me with my dilemma? Crimpycracker (talk) 14:52, May 10, 2012 (UTC)

Loghain (still unclear as to why he abandoned Cailan at Ostagar), Riordan (when he suggests you recruit previously-mentioned arch-enemy into your team), Anora (when she betrays you and makes you become a prisoner in Fort Drakon), Jory (he doesn't deserve the title of "Ser"), Cailan (for being a prat), Merrill (that whole mirror thing was just stupid), Anders and Fenris (being broody is not cool, guys. Seriously, smile every once in a while. It won't kill you.)

Also, I would like a special punishment for Sebastian. When you refuse to kill Anders (even though I'd punch him, he's still a mate), you should be able to pull out the murder knife and scalp him so he can't strop no more. :) Eggy2504 (talk) 15:51, May 10, 2012 (UTC)

^ Why Loghain abandoned Cailan? Very reason you stated. He was an overcondifent prat that was playing war and refused to listen to Loghain. He mite've been Maric's son, but he was an idiot. Loghain knew that in the end, they wouldn't be able to defeat the Darkspawn at Ostagar. So with a heavy heart, he was forced to sacrefice his own men who he knew himself.User:Ja_Shadowhunter (talk)

Anders. Sweet Maker, Anders. Specifically DA2 Anders. Right in his stupid, endlessly jibbery mouth. You can only yell "Shut up!" so many times before violence becomes necessary. HELO (talk) 15:53, May 10, 2012 (UTC)

I don't want to punch anyone, I want to bash Fenris and Anders heads together and make them kiss, that is far more fun. --Xxellenmaysongxx (talk) 17:27, May 10, 2012 (UTC)

Oh, I second that, I would so bash there faces together, first to make them feel some pain, second to make them feel uncomfortable being stuck to the face of the other. No, I should handcuff them and through away the key. Lock them up in a small prison cell. Anything to get them to get on each others nerves :D --Musik91 (talk) 01:27, June 17, 2012 (UTC)

Oooh, I forgot Orsino. I know a lot of people weren't huge fans of Leandra, but I was, and when I found out that it was partly his fault my mother died I got really upset. I guess Hawke did get to kill him, but at that point he was a giant flesh monster. I just wanted to sock the little elf right in the jaw.--Singewood (talk) 17:31, May 10, 2012 (UTC)

Anora, definitely, for being the cold, self-serving bitch. Meredith, for playing the Leandra card against Hawke. Elthinna, for not putting a check on Meredith, and for blaming Hawke for "fanning the controversy", as if it was Hawke's fault that Orsino and Meredith decided to make a public show. Hawke, for being a useless ass and letting Meredith on the loose for THREE years before actually doing a thing about it. --Ygrain (talk) 17:36, May 10, 2012 (UTC)

Elthina, she let Meredith have too much power she was meant to keep the templars in check. Even though she's an old biddy.
And Bitchslap for DA2 Anders or blowing up the chantry
Phoenix96 (talk) 20:47, May 10, 2012 (UTC)

Without a doubt, Anders. I would punch him until I found myself in severe legal trouble. I find him extremely selfish and short-sided, and I also like that if you don't take to his being a whore he instantly takes offense. Though a fairly close second would be the Arishokk. Mostly just because I dislike him. --RomeoReject (talk) 22:02, May 10, 2012 (UTC)

I'm with you there, the Arishok had an interesting point of view but his abrasiveness (even for a Qunari) ground on my nerves too much. Needless to say, I very much enjoyed dueling him to the death. EzzyD (talk) 22:12, May 10, 2012 (UTC)

There are a few that I would love to feed to the archdemon but that list is long. so instead I will give you my top 5.

1)ISOLODE!! - *in my best nasal sounding french accent* Tttteeeeaaaggggaaaannnn..Her voice alone makes me want to stab her until she has so many holes she can be used a strainer for noodles. Plus she hides Connor's abilities from her husband. Oh I could go on but I better stop myself.

2)Katriel - I have read all the books and this one I wanted to tear her to pieces. she freaking knew that Rowan and Maric were promised to each other and yet she didn't care. I wish I could have ran a sword through her middle myself.

3)Elthina - She knew the trouble brewing between the mages and templars in kirkwall and did nothing. All she would have had to do was say something and I am guessing it wouldn't have ended up the way it did. As far as I am concered she is mostly at fault for the chantry being blown sky high and the war that started.

4)Anora - That double crossing bitch!! I save her ass and she gets me thrown in Fort Drakon. If givin the chance I would have fed her to the Archdemon. But since I couldn't I had to settle for betraying her at the landsmeet and getting her thrown in the tower. Bet that will be the last chance she messes with my warden.

5)Loghain - How dare he blame me for getting Calian killed. I'm sorry but the last time I checked I wasn't the one who tucked my tail inbetween my legs and ran from the battlefield. Then he tries to get me killed. Oh hell no. If I had my way his head would have been mounted on the wall in Anora's cell or out front of my castle.

6)Sebastion - He can bring the whole Starkhaven army to go after Anders, but he forgets that he has to go through my Hawke (Kelcie, Khloe, Sophie, and Claire) to get him. So he can bring it on all he wants but there is no way in hell that he is getting at Anders. Only over my Hawke's dead body will it ever happen. Im sorry but I really dislike Sebastian. He is way to 'involved' with the chantry or as some would like to call it 'bible thumper'. He seems to much of a goodie goodie and that just rubs me the wrong way. Plus he is all for the Chantry but in the blink of a eye he goes into this "im a prince and I will bring my army against you if you don't kill him" on me. Go piss off buddy and try to bring a army against me.

Ok so it turned into a top 6 instead. Emmalee (talk) 22:37, May 10, 2012 (UTC)

Fenris, Fenris, a million times Fenris. Also Merrill and Velanna. I'm not too fond of elves, you see. Wataru14 (talk) 23:42, May 10, 2012 (UTC)

Anybody else really pissed off by Cassandra? I know the whole anime thing is coming out but seriously woman, get a life! And be a frickin better interrogator! The whole storytelling element of DA2 was such a weak aspect and she did not help. Punch in the face for being cocky.Sweebkotorbeast (talk) 03:50, May 11, 2012 (UTC)

Anora, despite letting me view super funny plans from my companions i hate her I dont care if shes queen i aint letting that Fool run MY country.Also Isolde is pretty bad too, shes the reason Arl eamon was poisoned and the reason why I had to rescue Conner from a demon-ness —Preceding unsigned comment added by TheNightTwins (talkcontribs)

Isolde, Isolde, Isolde..."Mama Bear" be damned, if she had just not been a idiotic tit about her son, half the goddamn village would be alive, and she almost killed her husband and brother-in-law (and her son may die anyway). I have to restrain myself from using the blood ritual because I would love to see her get rent in pieces. EDIT: Also, Fenris and Anders. I'm not a thirteen year old emo chick, so the whole tortured, broody thing doesn't make my heart throb. If I wanted object-of affection(Hawke)-obsessed (I mean, c'mon Anders, no means NO!) broody, I'd go watch Twilight. Palipride47 (talk) 05:32, May 11, 2012 (UTC)

Isolde for aforementioned reasons. Irving and Wynne for turning the tower into the mess we see during the Broken Circle: if only Wynne had chosen to shut up about Uldred, we wouldn't have to cut our way through all those abominations (granted, there would be plenty of Loghain-allied mages instead, but less people would die overall). Of course, if Irving had destroyed all his blood magic manuals or at the very least betrayed all the blood mage apprentices to the templars BEFORE that meeting, there wouldn't be anyone to fight. Finally, I would very much like to repeatedly punch Cailan in the face at Ostagar until he submits to Loghain's and Duncan's advice and do the same to that revered mother that refuses to let Uldred light the beacon remotely. 4Ferelden (talk) 10:22, May 11, 2012 (UTC)

So many faces, so little time--Halisme (talk) 17:18, May 11, 2012 (UTC)

Varric. Very irritating character who has very irritating stories. Uses a named crossbow, the hell I care. I started to get irritated by him when he banters and insults Orzammar and all the dwarves living down there. Really Varric, you disgrace your own people and then you have the courage to tell Bartrand that he lost his dwarven nobility? I hope we see him in DA3 and have the option to kill him. If that happens, I will name my daggers Britney and Madonna, then I have my own stories to tell. Juan Tutri (talk) 17:58, May 11, 2012 (UTC)

Varric? Really? Everything in Orzammar is awful. Distilled awful in a can. If you had said Sebastian, then I could get behind that. Wataru14 (talk) 22:44, May 12, 2012 (UTC)

You really need to get that chip off your shoulder Juan. Varric was born on the surface so he doesn't understand the whole Orzammar tradition. Bartrand was born in Orzammar so he sees it as sacred. So Bartrand had Dwavren Nobility and would never be seen without it, also you can't blame Varric for saying that to Bartrand, HE JUST killed most of his servants and guards!!!
Addition: Please add Grace to the List, I went out of my way to let her get a head start from the templars and goes and blames me for being captured!!Phoenix96 (talk) 19:29, May 11, 2012 (UTC)

Who do you want to punch in the face? Casey Hudson and Mac Walters. Oh wait... I'm on the Dragon Age wiki. ;) And I kid. Zambingo (talk) 02:07, May 12, 2012 (UTC)

Zambingo, if we could 'like' comments I totally would've done so with yours. --RomeoReject (talk) 06:47, May 12, 2012 (UTC)

Well, I'd gladly punch Mike Laidlaw and David Gaider in the ba... jaw! They deserve it. Other than that? Hmmmmm... I'll go with Mike Laidlaw and David Gaider. Again. Sorry. Can't help it. :) Maybe in a year or two I'll change my mind.

(2 years pass)

Nope! Still wanna make blood stains on the floor with them.--Markurion (talk) 09:41, May 13, 2012 (UTC)

How has noone said Allistair? He's so freaking annoying!

Also, the scout/warrior from the Dwarf Origin story. Those guys pissed me off. —Preceding unsigned comment added by (talk)

Exactly! Or rather Bhelen cause he set it up. Does he really have no family feeling? He's such a crook!
Alistair is one of my favorite characters. I often found myself laughing to his stupid remarks. Why would anyone hate him? It's not like hes Anders, crying and whining about his destiny and birthright and whatnot. Hes deflecting to humor even when he is forced to hard duties. Like leading an entire nation. I respect that in people.--Markurion (talk) 17:47, May 14, 2012 (UTC)
As much as I find his reluctance to lead a tad irritating, I appreciated his humour especially when everything seemed so glum and dark. So I'd rather not punch his face. Besides, he reminds me of a big shaggy dog that follows you around with a happy pant. Why would I want to punch someone like that? -Gabriellesig 18:31, May 14, 2012 (UTC)
Anders at least has a reason to whine. Alistair? "What, I get to be a King? Waaaaaaaah dontwannadontwannadontwanna a bloo bloo!" Yeah, you poor poor boy, what a terrible lot of yours, cry me a fucking river. Also, "Swooping is bad" wasn't funny the first time already. That said, while I find him very annoying, I don't hate him. Wouldn't punch either because he, too, reminds me a dog. Not a particularly smart one like one of them police sniffers, no, but still. I don't punch dogs. Dorquemada (talk) 19:15, May 14, 2012 (UTC)
Actually, just like it wasn't Anders' choice to be a mage, it wasn't Alistair's choice to be Maric's son either. It's kind of unfair; "you shall be a commoner until suddenly we decide it's a good time that you aren't. Until then, you shall sleep with dogs and be sent away as soon as you can read" would set me whining too. He doesn't want to be king at all, and he's almost flinging the throne at Anora (which is why I never make him king). He is then saddled with a massive task of fixing the mess that he didn't cause. His life kind of stinks. -Gabriellesig 19:36, May 14, 2012 (UTC)
Choice or not, mess or not, I'd still rather be a royalty surrounded by sycophants, enablers and, yes, manipulators too than a prisoner surrounded by guards who believe your very existence is wrong and are ready to snuff you on a slightest provocation. Dorquemada (talk) 20:53, May 14, 2012 (UTC)

Really? No mention of Rendon Howe? Well then I would punch Rendon Howe in the face for murdering most of the Couslands, the innocent people who just happened to be at the castle, for torturing to death Ser Gilmore and Mother Mallol, for making Amethene an orphan, etc.

Also, Duncan for murdering Ser Jory and forcing the character to become a Grey Warden.

Branka for sacrificing her house to the darkspawn and letting the women be turned into broodmothers.

Loghain for sacrificing good men and women at Ostagar.

Uldred for turning against the circle and using the evil kind of blood magic against them.

Avernus for using people as lab rats and torturing them.

Marjoline for trying to kill Lileana multiple times.

There are probably more but I can't think of any more at the moment. Believe it! (talk) 21:03, May 16, 2012 (UTC)

This is the punch in the face list, not the slow painful murder list. Hence Rendon gets left out ^^ Uldred, Branka, Avernus and Marjoleine are on the plain murder list so they're also not included. Kestrella (talk) 21:11, May 16, 2012 (UTC)
It's also worth noting about Uldred that there is only *one* kind of Blood Magic, whether or not it is "evil" is all contextual. EzzyD (talk) 21:30, May 16, 2012 (UTC)
That is the only reason I never said Renden Howe. Oh I surely could punch him in face without even thinking about it. The thing is I wouldn't be able to stop and would turn into a ugly mess. Emmalee (talk) 23:30, May 16, 2012 (UTC)
But we would punch him in the face too right? Also I would like to add Cailin to the list for plotting to divorce Anora and for cheating on her. Believe it! (talk) 14:48, May 17, 2012 (UTC)

Loghain for abandoning Cailan. Isolde for being a stubborn, whiny, annoying b*tch. Wynne for all of her useless rhetoric. (Just let me kill the Archdemon in peace, please?) Howe. (Nuff' said.) Those scouts who were bought by Bhelen (as previously mentioned). Harrowmont for not being as good a ruler as Bhelen and reinforcing traditions in Orzammar, when it's clearly decaying. Branka for being crazy as a bat-nug. (I think that I got the quote somewhat right.) Arl Eamon for being in love with Isolde. Genitivi for lying to me about the state of his "broken" leg (which he clearly walks on very normally right after). Leliana for all of her preachy comments. Zathrian. (No explanation needed there.) Valena for standing perfectly still and calm, then shouting stupidly when a group of very non-undead people initiate a conversation with her. (Which just might attract more undeads, idiot.) Marjolaine for her self-righteousness and being so self-centered. Goldanna for being herself. Shale for taking back her comment about "faith" having the same definition as "gullibility". (That punch there might hurt my hand, though. Stone skin and all.) The Architect for using that spell on us, stealing our gear, and experimenting on us without our consent, and then acting like a victim as we escape and pretending that he "just meant to talk". ANORA; that damn manipulative power-hungry whore. Aaaaannd... I think that that's about it. For DA1, that is.

In DA2, there are also quite a few, but I'll be more brief and say Fenris, Anders, Meredith, Orsino, Cassandra and Elthina, each for previously-mentioned reasons. A very special mention for Petrice and Grace, though. Petrice; moron, no one wants your salvation, you don't know anything. I'd love to see elves or Qunaris slaughtering people from the Chantry like you were doing, just so that you would at least gain some perspective and see that that shortsightedness only breeds more conflicts and brings absolutely nothing but grief and meaningless murder. And Grace; I did everything I possibly could to support mages. If you were caught, it was because of your own incompetence. At least try to own up to it. And don't go freakin' murdering Thrask, who was one of the only actually rational templars (another one being DA2 Cullen) and who actually had sympathy for mages, because he disagreed with your utterly rash and irrational actions.

Well, that pretty much covers everyone. There's really a lot of people to dislike in this series, now that I've thought about it. I guess most people disliked DA2 more mostly because most of those annoying characters were part of the main cast this time around, resulting in utterly retarded notions being shoved in your face more often. TheodoricEichen (talk) 22:19, May 16, 2012 (UTC)

Meredith: Just being a dick to mages.

Orsino: For being a blood mage at end of DA2.

Maric: For not raising Alistair as his own.

Arl Eeman: For throughing Alistair to the chantry at the age of ten.

Anora: Being a bitch. Mainly because of, save me from Howe and my father. Then, demands you to support her if not she goes and support her mad father.(if that happens to you)

Isolode: Being a dick to Alistair and for almost destoring Redcliffe.

Now there are some more but don't want make the list to long.--James.rosing (talk) 00:53, May 17, 2012 (UTC)

For me, I'd gladly punch plenty of people, but the following are right up there on top, my top 20:

  1. Meredith (Not punch, but kill the hell out of, and for obvious reasons)
  2. Kolgrim (I would've preferred to have started a fight with him by slapping him straight across the face)
  3. Petrice (Now that is what you call an egotist)
  4. Prosper de Montfort (God that guy get's so annoying)
  5. Orsino (He's not a whole lot better than Meredith is)
  6. Bethany (Normally I dont mind her and I definitely dont hate her either, but when she gets all Passive-Aggressive then I just want to punch her)
  7. Arl Howe (Now this guy is just a flat out pain in the ass, I dont know how people can support this lunkhead)
  8. Carver (No, I dont find him too much better than Bethany)
  9. Leliana (I wont lie, she's one of my favorites, but if she starts being a zealot to the Maker one more time I will slap the shit out of her)
  10. Sebastian (Same as Leliana)
  11. Marjolaine (If I feel like punching Leliana, then I feel like punching this pain in the ass as well)
  12. Fenris (I do have a soft spot for him and normally I dont mind him, but there were definitely times where I felt like I wanted to sock him)
  13. The toll beggars when entering Lothering (You really think I'm going to buy into that crap?)
  14. Gamlen (Right when he opened his mouth about the dog, I wanted to give it to him)
  15. Rogek (This guy must think I'm a complete idiot, say hello to my knuckle sandwich)
  16. Zathrian (I dont give a crap if he thinks werewolves are a solution or not, you WILL fix what you started)
  17. Arishok (At times perhaps, but I really actually respect him greatly)
  18. Morrigan (Again, a fave of mine and not just because she's attractive, but really, can you be that heartless? I do understand where that attitude comes from, but I still do feel like punching her sometimes)
  19. Grand Cleric Elthina (In Act III, she was just watching the show when in Act III things were at their worst)
  20. Loghain (I can respect him, but there's still the fact that he's a god damn imbecile)

Marauder 09 FoC cover I can make the Black Sun look like a Swoop Gang. 05:06, May 17, 2012 (UTC)

Zathrian created the Witherfang to kill humans, who killed his son and raped his daughter, warewolves were side effect on those who survived. If he become a bad guy, it's because humans killed his children, those animals deserved to suffer. It's impossible to simply forgive killing children.

Orsino (he randomly goes crazy and tries to kill Hawke) Anders (only after he blew up the chantry) Bran (always talks down to Hawke in every quest that you have to talk to him) Howe (traitorous jerk) Patrice (closed minded zealot) Goldanna ("gold-digging Harridon") Meredith (Crazy) Gamlen (complete dick) Carver (annoying brat) Anora (annoying bitch) --Nemesis1807 (talk) 11:31, May 17, 2012 (UTC)nemesis1807

Oh, to add to my previous list of Anders and Arishokk, I'd like to add Duncan. "What's that, Ser Jory? You don't want to needlessly throw your life away in a ritual we intentionally kept secret from you?" BLADE TO THE GUTS. Yes, we are totally the good guys... RomeoReject (talk) 16:07, May 17, 2012 (UTC)

Yet Duncan never once claims that he's a good guy, or that the Grey Wardens are a organization of hippies. Grey Wardens defeat the blight at ANY cost, something most people tend to forget (in-game and IRL)
Right, I'm all for stopping the Blight, except murdering Ser Jory didn't help stop the Blight in any way. Also, sign your posts, please. RomeoReject (talk) 22:22, May 17, 2012 (UTC)

Ok, my list of people I would like to punch in the face:

Fenris (Will you please shut the hell up and stop being so negative!)

Cullen (You racist asshole!)


Isolde (Are you retarded?)

Zathrian (WAKE UP! The people who killed your son and raped your daughter have been dead for hundreds of years!)

Sebastian (I just really hate religious people)

Petrice (You tried to set me up, TWICE!)

Bhelen (Does family mean anything to you!?)

Vaughan (You racist sadistic rapist! I will break your nose and kick your teeth in!)

Velanna (Didnt mind her to much but sometimes I would just like to give her a shove)

Branka (You crazy bitch!)

Demon possessed Connor (Dont tell me you didn't want to just walk up and slap the shit out of that kid when he was talking shit to you)

Anora (You traitorous bitch!)

Aveline (I don't know why but sometimes she just annoys me)

Wesley (The damned bastard threatens my sister on sight!)

Thats everyone I can think of for now Blighter (talk) 22:48, May 17, 2012 (UTC)

Velanna: She too very hysteric and especially for a Dalish Keeper. Viktoria Landers (talk) 15:27, May 23, 2012 (UTC)

I would punch that little crying pup Alistair. (talk) 00:20, May 24, 2012 (UTC)Daarkside

Isolde, definitely, and for DAII both Anders and Fenris. If I can change "punch" to "torture horrifically in his own torture chamber", then Howe and Vaughan in the first game, and Petrice in the second. I may hate just about everything about Isolde and consider her actions unbelievably stupid, but her reasons (protecting her son) at least were decent. As for Anders and Fenris, while they both have genuine reasons (not excuses, reasons) for the ways they think and act, it doesn't change the fact that they're both idiots, and often assholes to boot. As for Vaughan, Howe, and Petrice - come on, they're a racist, smug, arrogant, murderous rapist, a greedy, backstabbing, power-hungry, smug war criminal, and a lying, manipulative, smug, fanatical hypocrite respectively. I guess I just really hate smug people. And all that other stuff I mentioned. --UrLeingod (talk) 11:11, May 24, 2012 (UTC)

Ive commented on this before but i must add to my list, Sebastian i dont have him in my game but really now he doesnt shut up about the maker, tries to kill kirkwall because i let anders go/onto my team (really????) Anders I get his whole save the mages thing but BLOWING UP THE CHANTRY WONT FIX THAT.Arl howe. that basterd murdered my family >_> everyone else is either dead or MIA--TheNightTwins (talk) 06:41, June 10, 2012 (UTC)

Everyone in Thedas except Morrigan, Bethany and Isabela. -- (talk) 13:55, June 11, 2012 (UTC)Jak Darckner

Howe, Loghain, Branka, Petrice, Meredith, and Anders get their comeuppance in-game (although you don't get to kill Petrice yourself, I don't think), so I'll leave them out. Instead, I'll say Anora (backstabber, actually I want to kill her), Carver (whiny and anti-mage despite being from a family of mages), Fenris (Good god, Hawke is a mage that has stood by you again and again. How about letting up on the anti-mage thing?), and Merrill (cute as a button but so stupid). TheUnknown285 (talk) 18:52, June 15, 2012 (UTC)

I really wanna punch the Witch of the Wilds from DA2 in the first quest. Every time I see her I just get weirded out. Also, I think punching Fenris would be fun. He's all anti-mage and every time he has to make a comment that's against mages I just want to turn on Nightmare difficulty so I can smack him. --IAlexApple (talk) 17:36, June 16, 2012 (UTC)

Let's see here. I'll jump on the bandwagon and start off with Petrice. I hated her so much. Her whole "I'm so much cooler than you" personality.. We're saying punch not kill so, Anora, Eamon, Alistair(for not trusting me!), Kelder, Leandra(Gosh, mom, why did you have to go and die???),Fenris(As others have said, his whole anti-mage hating Anders ploy got annoying), Anders(I contradict myself a lot I know) And a few others.. Long lists of annoying people throughout Thedas.

I'm surprised that no-one mentioned Jowan and Lily from the mage origin (with Jowan reappearing again in Redcliff) and their creepy little love ploy. Any time I play as a mage, I rat them out to Irving, mainly because I actually despise them and am constantly telling Jowan to 'f*ck off' to which he responds 'yeah we'll meet later' but also because I love to be a bitch. (talk) 20:30, June 16, 2012 (UTC)RunicNine

If I punch Hawke, can we change it from "quick punch to the jaw" to "Falcon Punch"?Avg Man (talk) 22:34, June 16, 2012 (UTC)

Hmm. Can i add Riordorn to the list? Along with Nathaniel for being so passive agresive at the start. Oh and Flemeth. WHY YOU NO STAY DEAD!!!Phoenix96 (talk) 11:21, June 17, 2012 (UTC)

Meridith, if it wasn't for her iron grip on Kirkwall, almost everything that happened in DA2 would have been avoided entirely. —Preceding unsigned comment added by (talk)

I want to punch Anders, when he accuses Fenris of being a jealous hypocrite. He's so short sighted. It wasn't about being a mage, it was about betraying own brother. Andy was also sold by his friend to templars in DAA. Andy has no siblings, he has no right to judge Fenris like this.—Preceding unsigned comment added by (talk)

The only thing that made me angrier then watching Patrice manipulate the situation into an all out riot, was the fact I didn't have the option to kill her myself. I would have LOVED the chance to split her head like fire wood. Also I don't believe I killed Anders enough. I wanted to stab him a couple more times... With Sabastian. That's right I wanted to take Sabastian and use him to impale Anders for blowing up the chantry and still acting like a whiney @#$%. And why you Sabastian? Alsmot 10 years and that guy didn't grow a pair! He had no back bone. IF I was able to use him as a weapon and impale Anders I would make sure there was a wall behind Anders so Sabastian's head would splatter against it. I would have been doing him a favor! As for who I would like to punch in the face. Cassandra. Because I don't think cosmetic surgery exists in the DA world and I think it would improve her looks GreyWolf84 (talk) 23:46, June 18, 2012 (UTC)

I would be happy to punch Merideth right in her face and also Sandal, man that little fucker gives me the creeps! (talk) 04:40, June 19, 2012 (UTC)Darkside

1. Hawke: for not doing anything for a decade... Seriously Hawke is so unproductive!

2. Orsino: for making me look stupid in front of the Templars for siding with him!

3. Patrice: Just go play DA2 to find out why I want to punch her

4. Zeveran: No hostility towards him, I just want his face to go back to normal... So maybe if I punch him a few times?

5. Cassandra: For staring in Dawn of the Seeker

6. Tallis: For pretty much waiting my time with a mediocre "adventure"

Anyway that is my list... ````

Hm, another punch project would be Patrice, the first time I saw her I new I wanted to punch that cow! (talk) 04:24, June 21, 2012 (UTC)Darkside

Hawke. ----Isolationistmagi 05:45, June 21, 2012 (UTC)

Sarel, the campfire elf from Origins. No matter who you are, he derides you and treats you like dirt despite the fact you're actively helping his clan while he's parked by the fire. He's the most annoying example of Dalish aside from Velanna you can find. He needs a punch in the face, knee to the gut, and faceplant into the fire. My Wardens have no time for whiny, self-pitying, condescending elves. DavetheExile (talk) 01:44, July 14, 2012 (UTC)

You're not alone. Haha. Even my elven Warden would have probably kicked the guy's ass for all but calling him a "flat-ear". I don't play human, so I don't know what his reaction to them is; or even dwarves for that matter, but I imagine the short people may get a nicer treatment simply for not doing anything to the elves? Ah well, I'll add Sarel to my list now :P EzzyD (talk) 13:43, July 14, 2012 (UTC)

No-one wants to punch Bhelen? Well as a dwarf noble in Origins that was the first thing I felt like doing when I got back to Orzammar (that said, I still made the little git king due to Harrowmont being a useless ruler). Oh and Anders. 'nuff said. --Duranic (talk) 13:47, July 20, 2012 (UTC)

Well i have a pretty long list but here's a few...

1. Isolde "TEEEEGAAAANNNN"....nuff said

2. arl eamon, He married an Orlesian bitch and should hold no position in the landsmeet.

3. Maric, i don't hate him or even dislike him but i still just want to sock him one.

4. The architect, too trusting and takes things too far in his attempts to stop the blights.

5. Utha "Is self mutilation supposed to frighten me ?"

6. Most of the grey wardens, as they seem to be willing to sacrifice things that they don't have to right to sacrifice in order to stop the blight.

7. Hafter, That stupid dog! WHY DID IT HAVE TO RUN OFF AND DIE WITH KELL WHY!?!?

8. Sebastion, a zealot, and annoying.

9. Leliana, a Zealot, less annoying than sebastion but still...

10. Behlen, good king terrible man. --Shaerala (talk) 22:53, July 20, 2012 (UTC)

King Alistair from Silent Grove. You jerk, leave the pretty Witches alone! Now you're going to have another comic series in which you still get no answers, probably because you kill the people who have them. It's amazing that running a country hasn't made you better at thinking things through. Dumbass.--Liam Sionnach (talk) 17:32, July 22, 2012 (UTC)

I wouldn't call it a punch, but more of a knock on the head for the storyboard writers. Particularly the one, or multiple writers, for the first Petrice back stab in Act 1. Why continue doing business with a back stabber when I want to press the berserk button and let her have it? 11:16am 7/22/12 KCMueller

Anders. All day, every day. [Tea'l]

Mevlut Cousland. -- (talk) 10:20, July 24, 2012 (UTC)Jak Darckner

This forum pertains to DA characters, not other users. EzzyD (talk) 16:00, July 24, 2012 (UTC)

Sometimes I want to punch Hawke. I click an option and he/she says something completely different. E.g. When I choose diplomatic option and the text says: "I won't let you down" to romanced Anders, Hawke says: "I love you." OK, I have him romanced, but still, I think in that situation he'd rather need a good friend than a horny Hawke. Or when I met Danarius coming after Fenris. There was an option "Take him." I thought Hawke will say something like "So take him but you'll have to get past me" to protect him, but she meant it seriously...maybe it's my fault, maybe I just didn't understand to the text, but still I feel upset about it--- Yes, and also I want to punch Mhairi from Awakening. All the time she's like "Aww yeah, I've passed a special training and I'm the best from the Wardens' recruits, you know I'm so fantastic." The way she spoke to Anders and Oghren --- I know they're not very polite or whatever, but she treats them like "not worthy her presence". She seemed like some mean princess to me. And then she's not even strong enough to survive the Joining! I tell you I hoped she won't make it because she annoyed me so much! Ewqua (talk) 20:11, July 24, 2012

When it comes to DA2, I kind of want to punch almost everyone.

I want to punch Anders/Justice for blowing up the Chantry. I'd like to punch Petrice for being such a self-righteous b-ch. I'd like to punch Orsino for protecting a blood-mage/necromancer/serial killer. I want to punch Ser Alrik for being a racist creep (but I got to kill him, so I guess there's no real point in mentioning him). I'd like to punch Carver for being a whiny little prick. I want to punch Isabela for running off with the one thing that may or may not have solved the whole deal with the qunari, just so she can save her own life even though I'm pretty sure Hawke probably would've been able to protect her for Castillon. I'd like to punch Elthina for assuming that the problem with the mages and templars would be solved if she just waited for the two sides to get along instead of stepping in and doing .... something. And I'd like to punch Hawke, for being (for the most part) rather useless during the entire story of DA2 even though the writers try to paint Hawke as being the "most important person of the time".

As for DAO, it's kind of hard for me to come up with someone I'd really like to punch ... Well okay there's Beraht, but it's okay but I got to kill him later on. And I kind of want to punch Duncan for saying (during the origin story for Cousland), "Yeah even though as we very speak you're entire castle and family are being slaughtered by the soldiers of someone you thought was your friend, this is small potatoes compared to what's happening with the Blight." (Okay yeah it's technically true, but you don't just say that to someone who's losing everything and is bleeding to death. Or at least that's just my opinion). I'd like to punch Anora, because she's a b-ch. And Isolde for having a really annoying voice and being kind of stupid ("Oh my son has magic. Instead of doing the logical thing and sending him the Circle where he'll have proper training for his gifts, I'll aquire this apostate that I know nothing about and have him privately teach my son. There is absolutely no way this could end badly for me and my entire family! :D"). There's probably more I could come up with, but my memory is kind of foggy at the moment. :P LiliumSnow (talk) 07:07, August 5, 2012 (UTC)

Bah you guys are all bad distraction! I, on the other hand want to only punch Hawke! With my fist in his\her face and his\her face on the floor.--Kiwiih (talk) 12:37, August 5, 2012 (UTC)

Isabela, if only because I think my warden feels jealous regarding her past relationship with Zevran. Circle Mage (talk) 01:29, August 8, 2012 (UTC)