Can you tell me your fave Varric banter from Dragon Age 2 and 3
I want to see what you guys think
I like Varric and Isabela's banter in DA 2. This is probably my favorite one:
"Varric: I shit you not, Rivaini, it was this big.
Isabela: There's no way. Impossible! I've had hundreds of those in my hands, and they're never that size.
Varric: Would I lie about something so critical?
(Next line is dependent on third party member)
Anders: I can't stand it anymore—what are you two talking about?
Aveline: I'm afraid to ask, but... what are you two going on about?
Carver: What is wrong with you two? Can't you ever have a conversation that isn't dirty?
Hawke: What are you two talking about?
Varric: We're discussing knives, of course. Well, daggers, technically. I never remember the difference.
Varric: Why? What did you think we were talking about?"
In Inquisition, there's a particular exchange between Varric and Iron Bull that's both excellent foreshadowing and a fun poke at DA 2:
"Iron Bull: Hey, Varric, I was reading your stuff... Where do your bad guys come from?
Varric: Well, some of them come from Tevinter and some are Ben-Hassrath spies... but I like the stories where the villain was the man beside you the whole time. The best villains don't see themselves as evil. They're fighting for a good cause, willing to get their hands dirty.
Iron Bull: All right, that's really deep and all, but I meant where do the bad guys come from literally? The way you write it, it's like they just fall from the sky and land on top on the hero.
Varric: I like to leave some things to the reader's imagination."
Thanks. That made me giggle
The Inquisitor: Red lyrium? Did the qunari know what they dealing with!
Varric: No, They might think they did, But they don't.
You can count on Varric to be as blunt as anything when it comes to Red Lyrium
Isabela: You've a nickname for everyone.
Varric: That's true. Rivaini.
Isabela: But everyone just calls you Varric. That's hardly fair.
Varric: Well, it's my story.
Iron Bull: Hey, Varric, are you gonna write me into one of your stories?
Varric: How could I not?
Iron Bull: When you do, make sure you describe the musculature right. 'Cause this isn't just endurance work—there was a lot of strength training to get here. You wanna use words like "rippling", or "ripped". "Ripped" is good too.
Varric: Hmm... The Iron Bull's belly was prone to rippling after every meal. He rarely wore shirts as they ripped under the strain.
Iron Bull: That hurts, Varric. That's hurtful.
^That's another really good Iron Bull/Varric exchange. I almost picked that one myself, as it's funnier than the one I listed. But the Solas foreshadowing is just so clever, I had to mention it.
What do you think?