I’m having a bad day.
Can you comment with one quote from each of the 3 main games or their respective DLC’s that you think is the funniest of all?
Shianni: Did you kill them all?
Kallian Tabris: Like dogs, Shianni.
(Plus anything that comes out of Oghren's mouth)
DA: Awakenings -
Anders: Why shouldn't I be allowed to live free and throw lightning at fools?
(Plus... anything that comes out of Oghren's mouth)
DA II -
Aveline: Perhaps you could write something to help deter crime.
Varric: And you expect people to read that?
Varric: How about I make you a sign that says 'DON'T'. You can hit people with it.
Best for last (not a quote, but a cutscene)
(Cullen upon walking into the Inquisitor and Bull, Bull laying on the bed stark naked)
Cullen: Sorry to disturb your rest, Inquisitor, but our fortif- Oh, sweet Maker!
(Cullen hides behind a portfolio he is carrying to cover the view)
Iron Bull: Cullen. How's it goin'?
Josephine: Is the Inquisitor awake? I thought perhaps we could- OH! *clears throat*
(This Inquisitor is a good several feet away from the bed, Bull hasn't moved and is smirking. Josephine isn't looking away.)
Inquisitor: This is actually, um... uh...
Cullen: I'm... so... sorry...
(Josephine is still staring while Cullen is still hiding behind a portfolio)
Josephine: I cannot move my legs.
(Cassandra enters the room)
Cassandra: Is something the matt- AHH-UGH!
Bull: Oh, for fuck's sakes.
Cassandra: Do you SEE this? *scorn*
(Cullen is trying to disappear, Josephine is still staring)
Cassandra: So... I take it...
Bull: Actually... he/she is the one who's been taking it.
(Cullen snorts and smirks, still looking away)
Cassandra: I apologize for interrupting what I assume was a... momentary diversion.
Cullen: Nothing wrong with having a bit of fun.
Josephine: Who wouldn't be a little curious?
(Cullen and Cassandra turn to look at Josephine, who is still staring)
(after they leave)
Inquisitor: I think we might have blinded poor Cullen.
^Freaking Bull's exasperation and Cullen's hiding then laughing at the joke freaking kill me man 😂😂😂
Origins - Morrigan & Sten, when Sten turns the tables on her for constantly teasing him:
"Morrigan: You seem so deep in thought, my dear Sten. Thinking of me, perhaps? The two of us, together at last?
Morrigan: I... what did you say?
Sten: You will need armor, I think. And a helmet. And something to bite down on. How strong are human teeth?
Morrigan: How strong are my teeth?
Sten: Qunari teeth can bite through leather, wood, even metal given time. Which reminds me, I may try to nuzzle.
Sten: If that happens, you'll need an iron pry bar. Heat it in a fire, first, or it may not get my attention.
Morrigan: Perhaps it would be better if we did not proceed.
Sten: Are you certain? If it will satisfy your curiosity...
Morrigan: Yes. Yes, I think it is best."
DA 2 - Isabela and Aveline in Legacy:
"Isabela: I spy with my little eye, something that is... red. And socially uncomfortable.
Isabela: No guesses? It starts with A.
Aveline: Shut up.
Isabela: Ooh, my mistake. It starts with such a B.
Aveline: Time and a place, Isabela. No games when we're this deep in a mess.
Isabela: Fine. Gone from B to a real C, anyway."
Inquisition - Basically everything between Iron Bull and Sera. This one's probably my favorite:
"Iron Bull: So, you and the Boss huh?
Sera: Oh that's right. You and she had.. Sorry. right?
Iron Bull: (Chuckles) Hey, no hard feelings. Glad I loosened the lid for you.
Sera: Pfft! (laughs)
Inquisitor: That's enough both of you!
Iron Bull: Fine fine. Touchy.
Inquisitor: If you are going to gossip. Don't do it when I'm here.
Sera: Oh loosen up you! See what I did? I did it too! (laughs)
Sera: I think she's turning purple.
Iron Bull: Not the first time."
And if Cole is in the party:
"Cole: Why does she carry a jar down there? Is there something in her hands?"
Anything involving Oghren
Shale:: What? Why is a drunkard staring at me?
Oghren: So you were a girl dwarf?
Shale: And? What of it?
Oghren: So essentially right now you're a naked, girl dwarf!
Shale: Who is also made of stone. Erase the mental image in your head drunkard, or I will crush it out with my fist!
Shale: I'm going to stand over here now
^I literally snorted at that
Like a true dwarf 😂
You've just reinspired me to play my character through DAI 😂
I just finished Trespasser again and the closing credits are amazing.
It's Cassandra reading Varric's book about the Inquisition out loud and her doing impressions of all the other companions.
For anyone who's not had the pleasure of Cassandra doing an impression of Blackwall here's a link to the clip on youtube.
I remember my sister playing DA2, and there was a party banter between Isabella and Varric on a writing about Aveline in her office that my sister laughed hysterically at. I'll see if I can find it.
One of my favorite moments in DA2 Was when Anders said I love you to Hawke and she just responded with Want a sandwich?
When a Femquisitor (it's especially funny with Lady Trevelyan) pulls a fast one on Bull in the bedroom when she starts talking about marriage and nuptuals and the Bull is all like [ohfuckohfuckhfuck I thought this was a fling...] and then a hearty "Gotcha!"
One-upping Bull? Jersey greatly approves.
What do you think?