I’m having a bad day.
Can you comment with one quote from each of the 3 main games or their respective DLC’s that you think is the funniest of all?
I’ll go first:
Wynne: Shale, why do you refer to me as the "elder mage?"
Shale: Clearly because it is purple. And a hyena.
Wynne: Oh, very well. But could you at least use a different adjective? I do not wish my age to be my defining characteristic.
Shale: As the fussy mage desires.
Elf NPC: "”Elf this" and "elf that". I'll "elf" your mother.“
Vivienne: Do you sleep with your mouth open? I should avoid that: it was heavy with eggs. Skitter skitter... skitter skitter skitter...
Sera: (growls) Friggin' stop it, witchy-pisser!
Shianni: Did you kill them all?
Kallian Tabris: Like dogs, Shianni.
(Plus anything that comes out of Oghren's mouth)
DA: Awakenings -
Anders: Why shouldn't I be allowed to live free and throw lightning at fools?
(Plus... anything that comes out of Oghren's mouth)
DA II -
Aveline: Perhaps you could write something to help deter crime.
Varric: And you expect people to read that?
Varric: How about I make you a sign that says 'DON'T'. You can hit people with it.
Best for last (not a quote, but a cutscene)
(Cullen upon walking into the Inquisitor and Bull, Bull laying on the bed stark naked)
Cullen: Sorry to disturb your rest, Inquisitor, but our fortif- Oh, sweet Maker!
(Cullen hides behind a portfolio he is carrying to cover the view)
Iron Bull: Cullen. How's it goin'?
Josephine: Is the Inquisitor awake? I thought perhaps we could- OH! *clears throat*
(This Inquisitor is a good several feet away from the bed, Bull hasn't moved and is smirking. Josephine isn't looking away.)
Inquisitor: This is actually, um... uh...
Cullen: I'm... so... sorry...
(Josephine is still staring while Cullen is still hiding behind a portfolio)
Josephine: I cannot move my legs.
(Cassandra enters the room)
Cassandra: Is something the matt- AHH-UGH!
Bull: Oh, for fuck's sakes.
Cassandra: Do you SEE this? *scorn*
(Cullen is trying to disappear, Josephine is still staring)
Cassandra: So... I take it...
Bull: Actually... he/she is the one who's been taking it.
(Cullen snorts and smirks, still looking away)
Cassandra: I apologize for interrupting what I assume was a... momentary diversion.
Cullen: Nothing wrong with having a bit of fun.
Josephine: Who wouldn't be a little curious?
(Cullen and Cassandra turn to look at Josephine, who is still staring)
(after they leave)
Inquisitor: I think we might have blinded poor Cullen.
What do you think?