Isabela/Dialogue

Isabela's dialogue contains the conversations she shares with The Warden in Dragon Age: Origins and with Hawke's companions in Dragon Age II.

Dialogue: Dragon Age: Origins

 * Isabela: "Hmm... strong hands. Could I entice you to leave your order and sign up as one of my crewmen? I could use those strong hands at my... helm."
 * Warden: "I don't know anything about sailing."
 * Isabela: "The ship is the best teacher. She will guide you with her sighs... her shudders, her gentle swaying as she rides the crests of the waves."


 * Isabela: "She's quite feisty, isn't she?"
 * Warden: "She bites too."
 * Leliana: "I do not!"
 * Isabela: "And you said she was a cloistered sister? I dare say the cloisters must be teaching things other than the Chant of Light."
 * Leliana: "Oh, no, no... I learned those things in Orlais. Bored noblewomen often come up with various methods of self-amusement."


 * Isabela: "She's quite feisty isn't she?"
 * Warden: "I thought her performance was lackluster today."
 * Leliana: "Lackluster! Well, that's a fine way of complimenting a lady!"
 * Isabela: "Ha! You might be many things, sweet Leliana, but as you have proven today, you are no lady."


 * Leliana: "L-let us never speak of this again."
 * Isabela: "Yes, I agree."
 * Zevran: "I don't mind never speaking of it again, as long as we could do it again."
 * Leliana: "That's a thought..."
 * Isabela: "Am I getting old, or has Zevran become even more depraved over the years?"
 * Zevran: "I've been about Grey Wardens. Perhaps the taint has rubbed off on me some, hmm? (Chuckles)"


 * Isabela: "My dear, you wouldn't consider...leaving Alistair with me, would you? Perhaps let me borrow him for a week every summer? I'm sure we could work out a deal."
 * Warden: "Would you lend me your ship?"
 * Isabela: "Of course not! You would misuse the ship-- Which, I suppose, is exactly what I would do with Alistair, though I suspect he would enjoy it while the ship wouldn't."
 * Alistair: "Not that the idea of being borrowed isn't terribly fascinating, but let's not forget the darkspawn. There may not be a week every summer, or any summer."
 * Isabela: "Darkspawn! Is this the only thing men think about these days? What about the good old obsessions? Breasts, firm buttocks, wet frocks?"
 * Alistair: "Hmm... wet frocks..."

Isabela and Hawke

 * Hawke: "Stab first, ask questions later?"
 * Isabela: "Trust me, it's better this way."


 * Hawke: "You haven't exactly thought this out, have you?"
 * Isabela: "I haven't exactly worked out all of the kinks. Step one, we find Castillon... step two, I don't know. Something exciting happens. Step three, profit. Any questions?"

( If Hawke romanced Fenris )
 * Isabela: Speaking of romance... You and Fenris, eh? That taut, controlled body, the brooding demeanor and intense gaze... I hear he still wears the shackles from his life in bondage...under his clothes. You know what they say about men like that, don't you?
 * Hawke: (Sighs) I'm going to regret asking you to continue, aren't I?
 * Isabela: He can't find a saw. (Laughs) I had you there! You thought I was going to say something dirty! (Laughs)


 * Isabela: Well, I haven't worked out all the kinks yet. Step 1: We go to Velasco, Step 2: Something... exciting happens, Step 3: Profit!

Isabela and Anders

 * Isabela: Hello? Is Anders there? Can I speak to Anders?
 * Anders: You can stop yelling. It's always me.
 * Isabela: Oh, good. I didn't want to talk to that other guy. You know, the stick-in-the-mud.
 * Anders: He can still hear you. Justice and I are one. Anyway, you wanted to talk to me?
 * Isabela: Not really, I just wanted to make sure it was you.


 * Anders: Isabela, you never talk about the mages' plight.
 * Isabela: What's there to say?
 * Anders: There's plenty to say.
 * Isabela: And you say enough for the lot of us, don't you think?
 * Anders: So you're telling me you have no opinion on the matter?
 * Isabela: None whatsoever!
 * Anders: That can't be true.
 * Isabela: No, I'm afraid I'm really this shallow.

(OR if Varric is in the party)
 * Anders: I keep thinking I know you from somewhere.
 * Isabela: You're Ferelden, right? Ever spend time at the Pearl?
 * Anders: That's it!
 * Anders: You used to really like that girl with the griffon tattoos, right? What was her name?
 * Isabela: The Lay Warden?
 * Anders: That's right! I think you were there the night I-
 * Isabela: Oh! Were you the runaway mage who could do that electricity thing? That was nice...
 * Hawke: Please stop talking. Now.
 * Varric: I... don't think I need to know this about either of you.


 * Anders: Sometimes, I think you have the right idea.
 * Isabela: Handcuffs, whipped cream, always be on top?
 * Anders: I never used to give two bits what anyone thought of me.
 * Anders: Justice once asked me why I didn't do more for other mages. I told him it was too much work.
 * Anders: But I couldn't go back after that. Couldn't stop thinking about it.
 * Anders: Sometimes, I miss being that selfish.
 * Isabela: Huh? Were you talking? I was still at "whipped cream."


 * Anders: Do you ever have any regrets?
 * Isabela: About what?
 * Anders: Anything? Everything? I can't figure you out.
 * Isabela: The past's past. I learned that young. If it can't bring you gold or giggles, what's the point in dwelling on it?
 * Anders: Maybe the chance to fix a mistake? Make things right again?
 * Isabela: Eh. Our mistakes make us who we are.
 * Anders: That was almost profound.


 * Anders: You do have an opinion on mages, don’t you?
 * Isabela: Of course I do. I just don't feel a constant need to bring it up. (Sighs) Mages don’t worry me. And I don't believe the Templars when they say I should be worried. I’m more likely to be shanked in a bar than eaten by an abomination. You can hear those coming from a mile away. "Grr. Argh!" "Oh, is that an abomination coming to eat us? We should get out of here!"
 * Anders: Abominations don't go "Grr. Argh."
 * Isabela: They don't? I should rethink the whole thing, then.


 * Anders: So this relic you lost... how is it that you don't know what it is?
 * Isabela: It was in a box.
 * Anders: And you didn't open it? You managed to resist the urge?
 * Isabela: It was locked. It was a locked box!
 * Anders: Hasn't stopped you before.
 * Isabela: What do you want me to say?
 * Anders: Nothing. I just found it curious, that's all.


 * Anders: What makes this relic of yours so valuable?
 * Isabela: The same thing that makes anything valuable. Someone is willing to pay for it.
 * Anders: That's not evasive...
 * Isabela: Look. I didn't get where I am by showing my hand.
 * Anders: No, your hand isn't what I hear you've been showing.


 * Anders: I don't know how you live the way you do, blithely ignoring the consequences of your actions.
 * Isabela: This is about the Qunari thing, isn't it? I'm not ignoring it. I just recognize that it happened years ago.
 * Isabela: There's this fantastic thing called "moving on." You should try it sometime.
 * Anders: Has it occurred to you that Kirkwall is only just recovering from the Qunari attack?
 * Isabela: And you want me to... what? Flog myself daily?
 * Isabela: Has it occurred to you that maybe there's no justice in the world? Other than that voice you keep in your head.


 * Anders: There is justice in the world.
 * Isabela: Is there? You want to free the mages. Let's say you do, but to get there, you kill a bunch of innocent people.
 * Isabela: What about them? Don't they then deserve justice?
 * Anders: Yes.
 * Isabela: And then what? Where does it end?
 * Isabela: It's like a bar brawl. People are continuously pulled into the fray, and nobody remembers why it started.
 * Isabela: Justice is an idea. It makes sense in a world of ideas, but not in our world.


 * Anders: You're not nearly as selfish as you pretend.
 * Isabela: Hey! You take that back!
 * Anders: You had your relic. You were gone. There was no reason for you to come back and face the Qunari.
 * Isabela: I still don't have a ship. I thought I could get one.
 * Anders: From a bunch of shipwrecked Qunari?
 * Isabela: From the viscount. I just go here late.
 * Anders: I always knew you had a heart of gold.
 * Isabela: Shh! Don't tell anyone.


 * Anders: So this relic you lost... how is it you don't know what it is?
 * Isabela: It was in a box.
 * Anders: And you didn't open it? You managed to resist the urge?
 * Isabela: It was locked. it was a locked box!
 * Anders: Hasn't stopped you before.
 * Isabela: What do you want me to say?
 * Anders: Nothing. I just found it curious, that's all.

Isabela and Aveline

 * Isabela: Do men find you intimidating? What about Wesley? Did he?
 * Aveline: Isabela...
 * Isabela: What? Too soon?
 * Aveline: Too soon, too personal, too... everything coming from you!
 * Isabela: Ooh, sore spot?
 * Aveline: If you don't shut up, I'll give you a sore spot.


 * Aveline: So, Isabela. You're a captain?
 * Isabela: That's right, big girl. What of it?
 * Aveline: I don't remember your name on any registries. Every ship that docks has to declare.
 * Isabela: I never docked, and you're no port authority.
 * Aveline: And you... are no merchant.
 * Isabela: Ooh... scrutiny.


 * Isabela: You have such pretty hair. What a lovely color.
 * Aveline: Other children used to laugh at me for having ginger hair.
 * Isabela: Really? Aww. I bet you were cute. Did you have pigtails?
 * Aveline: Sometimes.
 * Isabela: How precious! Little Aveline, running around the village with her flaming orange pigtails streaming behind her... and little boys all scattering and screaming for mercy as she approached.
 * Aveline: Shut up, whore.

(After The Way It Should Be)
 * Isabela: Well. "Captain." Can I call you captain? You can call me captain.
 * Aveline: I won't be doing that.
 * Isabela: Neither will I. Because you're a guard captain. No real authority. Not like on a ship.
 * Aveline: Well, you would know about having a large number of men under you.
 * Isabela: You've been waiting to use that one. Did you practice?
 * Aveline: Shut up.

(The following two dialogues are just vague impressions, will need an update with exact wording)
 * Aveline: How come you are always so successful with men?
 * Isabela: If you cast your net wide enough you always catch something.
 * Aveline: (Laughs) At least you are admitting it.
 * Isabela: Trust me, I have heard "Get away you pirate hag" more than I would like to count.
 * Aveline: How can you bear that?
 * Isabela: Well, they don't know me, I know me.


 * Aveline: You were right.
 * Isabela: About?
 * Aveline: About knowing yourself.
 * Aveline: As a captain, I see myself strong and young, and I don't look half-bad naked.
 * Isabela: So, what would you say when I tell you that you are a mannish, ball-cracking old lady?
 * Aveline: Shut up, whore.
 * Isabela: That's my girl.


 * Aveline: I had trouble with another of your women, Isabela. She stole from a... distracted client. You're lucky she wasn't jailed.
 * 'Isabela: My women? I am but a shepherd. And what free enterprise are you oppressing now?
 * Aveline: Theft is not enterprise.
 * 'Isabela: Opportunities insufficiently guarded. Victimless crimes.
 * Aveline: Except for all the victims.
 * 'Isabela: Details. Victimless details.


 * Isabela: And then he says...he says, "I swear I had two when I came in here."
 * Aveline: You are horrible. Every inch.
 * Isabela: Hawke.
 * Aveline: She's not so bad. Except when she is.


 * Isabela: How's marriage been treating you, big girl?
 * Aveline: It's been good. No, great. I'd forgotten what it was like to-
 * Isabela: Be flipped ass-over-tits and hammered like a bent nail?
 * Aveline: To. Be. Loved.
 * Isabela: Oh. Right. Of course.
 * Aveline: Not that I'm complaining about the other thing.

(After completing the quest The Long Road and she got together with guardsman Donnic Hendyr, only some of the innuendos appear)
 * Isabela: So, how good is Donnic? Is he cocksure?
 * Aveline: (Sighs) Just... get it out of your system.
 * Isabela: Did he curl your toes?
 * Isabela: Pudding your peach?
 * Isabela: Dampen your Divine?
 * Isabela: Kaddis your Kate?
 * Isabela: Praise your Maker?
 * Isabela: Explore your Deep Roads?
 * Isabela: Gray your Warden?
 * Isabela: Shank your Jory?
 * Isabela: Or did he cup your joining?
 * Isabela: How about "satisfy a demand of your Qun."
 * Aveline: Yes, all right? He is an incredibly proficient lover. Happy?
 * Isabela: Well that's rather personal, don't you think?


 * Isabela: So, Donnic was in the Rose.
 * Aveline: He was not!
 * Isabela: Easy, big girl. He wasn't shopping for himself. You're luckyto have a man who wants to please you.
 * Isabela: But, maybe you could indulge him more. Are there areas of itimacy you haven't explored?
 * Aveline: Why? Why do you give me these doubts?
 * Isabela: Aveline. If you shove your thumb up his ass, I win.
 * Anders: Just... no.

Isabela and Bethany

 * Bethany: I guess you've been with a lot of men.
 * Isabela: Men... Women... Elves... A dwarf in drag once, but I don't recommend that.
 * Bethany: Oh.
 * Isabela: Aw, you're blushing! Why? How many lovers have you had?
 * Bethany: I... I never...
 * Isabela: You're a virgin? Hawke, you've been holding out on the poor girl. Get her a night at the Blooming Rose, on me.
 * Bethany: That's, um... very generous.
 * Isabela: I'm a giver.


 * Bethany: So... you've been with women... in bed?
 * Isabela: Shocking, isn't it? You see, sweetness, men are only good for one thing, women are good for six.
 * Bethany: Six? Which six?
 * Hawke: Isabela!
 * Isabela: (Laughs)

Isabela and Carver

 * Isabela: I saw you at the Blooming Rose the other night.
 * Carver: What? No you didn't.
 * Isabela: I suppose someone else stole your chin to romance Faith?
 * Carver: (Scoffs) That's unlikely. She wasn't even working.
 * Isabela: Mm-hmm. Got you.
 * Hawke: Carver, what would Mother say?
 * Carver: You're just... that's not what I... shit!


 * Carver: So, Isabela. You captained a ship? That's a lot of men to handle. For you to command.
 * Isabela: Well aren't you just adorable fumbling for a topic.
 * Carver: You say that like I'm harmless.
 * Isabela: As harmless as a pup that will someday grow into its fangs and sink them deep.
 * Carver: Sure, keep teasing. I'll show you how much of a pup I am.
 * Isabela: I know. That's why I do it.


 * Isabela: You look like a man I once dueled.
 * Isabela: He was a little intimated by my reputation as a vicious pirate, but rose to the challenge.
 * Carver: He looked like me, you say?
 * Isabela: It went on all night, under the stars, the waves lapping at our ankles.
 * Carver: On the beach? In the surf? How did you get proper footing?
 * Isabela: We didn't. There was quite a bit of tumbling around, and we were soaked and sore by the time the sun came up.
 * Carver: Did you... win?
 * Isabela: I managed to get on top in the end, but I considered it a tie.


 * Carver: Why is it always about sex with you?
 * Isabela: It's not. Sometimes it's about sex with other people.
 * Carver: You see? It comes up every single time we talk.
 * Isabela: We're just talking, Carver. If it comes up, that's not my fault.
 * Carver: What? I mean... that's not what I meant. It... it doesn't!
 * Carver: I hate you so much.

Isabela and Fenris

 * Fenris: So you freed a group of slaves?
 * Isabela: Would-be slaves. They weren't slaves yet.
 * Fenris: Still, you did the right thing. Many would turn a blind eye.
 * Isabela: Don't read too much into it, all right? It just seemed a good idea at the time.


 * Isabela: So what's with that magical fisting thing you do?
 * Fenris: I'm... sorry?
 * Isabela: You know, when you stick your hand into people.
 * Fenris: Oh. That. Yes. It's a... talent.
 * Isabela: You could make so much coin with that.


 * Isabela: I enjoy a man with markings like that.
 * Fenris: You've enjoyed many, I suspect.
 * Isabela: Where I come from, they're called "tattoos." Sailors get them all the time.
 * Fenris: Not made of lyrium, I'd imagine.
 * Isabela: Not a one. And the pictures are different—usually breasts.
 * Fenris: I suppose a pair of lyrium breasts tattooed onto my chest would make things better.
 * Isabela: That's me. I'm a helper.


 * Isabela: This one time, I was sailing to Llomerryn and there was a fight between two of my men.
 * Isabela: It was over a dice game, or the last piece of toast or something. Sailors--they’re touchy about their toast.
 * Fenris: Is this going anywhere?
 * Isabela: It will if you let me finish.
 * Isabela: So, there’s a knife fight, and Jim ends up with a broken-off blade stuck in his shoulder.
 * Isabela: It’s buried deep in there, and we’re out at sea, at least a week from the nearest port.
 * Isabela: If you were there, you could’ve reached in and plucked that blade right from his flesh.
 * Fenris: That’s your whole point?
 * Isabela: Pretty much.


 * Fenris: So this relic you mentioned losing...
 * Isabela: You have pretty eyes.
 * Fenris: I... have pretty eyes.
 * Isabela: You elves have such pretty eyes, even the men. It makes me want to pluck them out and wear them as a necklace.
 * Fenris: I wouldn't suggest trying.
 * Isabela: Oh, I would never try. Not without reason, of course.
 * Fenris: Forget I said anything.


 * Fenris: You keep staring at me. Is it my eyes again?
 * Isabela: You're very lanky for an elf. I like lanky.
 * Fenris: From what I gather, you like a lot of things.
 * Isabela: Nonsense. But when I see something I like, I go after it.

if Fenris is in romance with Hawke
 * Fenris: I suggest keeping your distance.
 * Isabela: Now you're just making it challenging.

if no romance
 * Fenris: Do you intend to go after me, then?
 * Isabela: Will you take off all that spiky armor you're wearing?
 * Fenris: It's been known to happen.
 * Isabela: Then forget it.


 * Isabela: So what duties did you have? As a slave, I mean?
 * Fenris: Not this again.
 * Isabela: I heard that Tevinter slaves are kept oiled so they glisten. Did your master oil you up? Did you glisten for him?
 * Fenris: I was his bodyguard.
 * Isabela: Always close at hand. Always within reach. Glistening.
 * Fenris: You have an entire story written in your head already, don't you?
 * Isabela: Mmm.


 * Fenris: So I hear you think mages should be free.
 * Isabela: Everyone should be free. Not just mages.
 * Fenris: Not everyone's dangerous.
 * Isabela: It's not about who's dangerous. It's about having choices made for you. Don't you wish you had the choice not to have lyrium stuck under your skin?
 * Fenris: I do.
 * Isabela: (Sighs) This is silly. I don't want to argue.
 * Fenris: Do you want to guess what color my underclothes are again?
 * Isabela: Oh, yes, that's much more fun.

(if Fenris is not in a romance with Hawke)
 * Isabela: That night, I can't stop thinking about it.
 * Fenris: Well, then I'll see you later.
 * Isabela: That was direct.
 * Fenris: I thought I'd get straight to the point. Were you expecting flowers or something?
 * Isabela: Don't be absurd.
 * Fenris: Then I'll see you tonight.

(First line needs verified.)
 * Fenris: I still don't understand why Hawke saved you.
 * Isabela: You've been saying that for years. Would you have turned me over to the Qunari?
 * Fenris: No, but I know what they do to their prisoners.
 * Isabela: Execute them horribly, I imagine.
 * Fenris: The Qunari waste nothing. They would reeducate you into a loyal follower of the Qun.
 * Isabela: Pfft. Could I refuse?
 * Fenris: There's always qamek, which turns you into a mindless laborer. Like I said, they waste nothing.
 * Isabela: Oh.
 * Fenris: If you wish to thank Hawke, she's standing right there.

Isabela and Flemeth

 * Isabela: Friend of yours?
 * Flemeth: You speak the word as if it were cheap coin, meant for spending.
 * Isabela: You don't know me.
 * Flemeth: Oh, I know your type.

Isabela and Leliana
(if you romanced Leliana in Dragon Age: Origins and had a threesome with Isabela)
 * Isabela: Leliana!
 * Leliana: Isabela?
 * Isabela: "Sister Nightingale" indeed. I remember it didn't take much to make you sing.
 * Leliana: *laughs awkwardly*
 * Varric: Is there anyone in Ferelden you haven't slept with?
 * Leliana: Maybe we should get back to the reason I'm here.

Isabela and Merrill

 * Merrill: How do you do that?
 * Isabela: Do what, kitten?
 * Merrill: You sort of... swagger when you walk. I've been trying but I trip over my own feet when I do it.
 * Isabela: You just strut. It's not something you practice.
 * Merrill: How do I learn it, then?
 * Isabela: It comes to you. Usually at night.  It's like a lover... or maybe a burglar.  Either it ravishes you or runs off with all your jewelry.  And you have to run it down and stab it in the heart.  And... that metaphor got a bit away from me, didn't it?
 * Merrill: I think it did, but it was certainly exciting!


 * Merrill: Do you really like sailing?
 * Isabela: Like it? I love it! The salt spray on my face, the wind whipping by my ears, the gulls screaming overhead -- I love it all.
 * Merrill: Don't you get sick? I was so sick on our trip across the sea.
 * Isabela: Were you in the hold?
 * Merrill: Everyone was in the hold.
 * Isabela: There's your problem. You need to be up on deck, under the sky, with nothing between you and the horizon. Sailing is like sex. Do it wrong, and it'll make you sick. But do it right, and there's no feeling in the world like it.


 * Merrill: Do you have a parrot, Isabela?
 * Isabela: What would I want a parrot for?
 * Merrill: What about a peg leg? Do you have one of those?
 * Isabela: You can see that I don't, dear.
 * Merrill: Eye patch?
 * Isabela: I'm disappointing you terribly, aren't I? And no hook for a hand, either.
 * Merrill: Seems that Varric's pirate stories are awfully inaccurate.
 * Isabela: He knows, Kitten. He likes them better that way.


 * Isabela: It's not always fun and games on the sea, though. There are storms and hostile pirates. And it's trying being cooped up with men who haven't seen a woman in months.
 * Merrill: You're a woman.
 * Isabela: Exactly! And I don't usually let them touch me, so they get... frustrated. I insist all of them get alone time. Helps with the crankiness.
 * Merrill: But they're already lonely! Why would you insist that they be alone some more?
 * Isabela: Ohh, Merrill.
 * Merrill: What? Did I miss something?
 * Isabela: Go think about it. Maybe it'll come to you.


 * Merrill: You have many lovers haven't you?
 * Isabela: Fewer than some think.
 * Merrill: But you never stay with them.
 * Isabela: No, why should I?
 * Merrill: But the act of lovemaking is so... intimate.
 * Isabela: I don't "make love". What I do is only skin-deep, Kitten.
 * Isabela: Don't worry your pretty little head about it.


 * Merrill: How do you suppose the Qunari scratch their heads with those horns in the way?
 * Isabela: Why do you think I would know?
 * Merrill: Because you know lots of things! I wonder if they rub their heads against tree trunks like halla do.
 * Isabela: I'd pay a sovereign to see that.
 * Merrill: No wonder they seem so cranky all the time.


 * Merrill: What was Llomerryn like? I’ve never heard of a Dalish who’s been there.
 * Isabela: I don’t imagine your people travel between islands much.
 * Merrill: Not really, no.
 * Isabela: I wouldn’t start waterproofing your wagons, then. I don’t think Llomerryn is ready for the Dalish.
 * Merrill: What do you mean? Would we upset the people there?
 * Isabela: It’s not really the sort of place where one turns down a tumble. Even refuse a fortune teller there and they’d run your lot out of town.


 * Merrill: (Sighs) Why do you even like me? I must seem so dull.
 * Isabela: What brought this on?
 * Merrill: Your life has been...so exciting. The adventures, the duels, the passionate love affairs. Compared to that my life is a stale, dry biscuit. I wish I had your life.
 * Isabela: No, you don't want my life.
 * Merrill: Why?
 * Isabela: Because you have a good heart, and you deserve better.

(If Hawke has romanced Isabela)
 * Merrill: I think Hawke likes you, Isabela.
 * Isabela: You think so?
 * Merrill: S/he looks at you all the time, and then s/he looks embarrassed and pretends s/he's busy with something else.
 * Hawke: I can hear you, you know.
 * Merrill: (Giggles) See?
 * Isabela: Hm. I'll have to think about that.

(While speaking to Jethann in The Blooming Rose during the quest The First Sacrifice)
 * Isabela: Ooh, I like him. He reminds me of someone.
 * Merrill: He does? Who is it?
 * Isabela: Think about it, Kitten.
 * Merrill: Well, you couldn't have meant Varric, because he's not even an elf - oh... Ohh! You were referring to yourself. Sorry!
 * Isabela: See? I knew it'd come to you.


 * Merrill: Why are you smiling?
 * Isabela: No reason.
 * Merrill: Ooh, ooh! It's something dirty, isn't it? Tell me! Tell me!
 * Isabela: It...it isn't anything dirty. I'm just...happy.
 * Merrill: Oh. That's good, too. But I was hoping for something dirty.
 * Isabela: Come by the tavern later. I've got stories that will make your toes curl.

Isabela and Sebastian
(Alternatively if Hawke and Isabela have slept together)
 * Sebastian: Is this getting you any closer to your ship?
 * Isabela: Huh?
 * Sebastian: I just don't understand why you're working with Hawke. You don't seem to care about anything we do.  What's keeping you here?
 * Isabela: Mostly the Blooming Rose. I'm paid up to the end of the year. I'd hate not to use it.
 * Sebastian: The brothel?
 * Isabela: What? Women can't go to brothels too? You're just not using your imagination. Oh look! Now you are. You're cute when you're blushing!
 * Sebastian: I just don't understand why you're working with Hawke. You don't seem to care about anything we do.  What's keeping you here?
 * Isabela: Mostly the sex. Hawke is an absolute tiger between the sheets.  I mean all night, every night.  Oh cute!  You're blushing.


 * Sebastian: I've noticed you talk about... vulgar things, quite a bit.
 * Isabela: Do you want me to stop? Do I make you... uncomfortable?
 * Sebastian: It was just an observation, really.
 * Isabela: It's a bad habit I picked up from spending time around foul-mouthed pirates. Pirates only care about a small number of very specific things. The sea, strong drink, and booty. Both kinds.


 * Isabela: All right, let's get this over with.
 * Sebastian: A duel?
 * Isabela: No, the sermon. The finger-wagging, the guilt-tripping, telling me how an unexamined life isn't worth living.
 * Sebastian: I wasn't going to...
 * Isabela: You weren't? You weren't going to tell me to comfort the needy and give myself freely?
 * Sebastian: From what I hear, you give yourself quite freely.
 * Isabela: Ooh. You got me there.


 * Sebastian: I used to be like you, you know.
 * Isabela: You used to be a woman?
 * Sebastian: No!
 * Isabela: That explains a lot.
 * Sebastian: My family put me in the Chantry because I was giving them a bad name. It was the best thing that ever happened to me. I found peace. I found a purpose. Before I came here, I was out all hours drinking in whoring. I didn't believe in anything other than my own pleasure.
 * Isabela: Why couldn't I have met you then?


 * Sebastian: You've been watching me all day. It's getting a little...distracting.
 * Isabela: Merrill's right. Your armor is shiny. I can see myself in it. Look!
 * Isabela: Shit. Oh, shit. Is that a wrinkle? Is that a wrinkle between my brows?
 * Sebastian: Um, I don't see...
 * Isabela: Hold still!


 * Sebastian: That was very brave, coming back to face the Qunari.
 * Isabela: It was idiotic. They would have killed me.
 * Sebastian: And yet you returned anyway. You couldn't face the thought of so many innocents dying for something you could prevent.
 * Isabela: Tell that to the viscount.
 * Sebastian: It's frightening, isn't it? To realise you have the potential to be a better person.


 * Isabela: It's been years and not once have you tried to get me to repent and turn to the Maker.
 * Sebastian: Preaching rarely works, Isabela. To change someone's heart, one has to lead by example.
 * Isabela: Huh. That makes sense. I can respect that.
 * Sebastian: I grew weary of the nameless strings of lovers and the nights of endless pleasure. You will, too.
 * Isabela: (Gasps) That's the cruelest thing anyone's ever said to me! I think I'm going to cry.


 * Isabela: So, I've never understood why the Chantry says if you're good you'll be taken up to the Maker's side.
 * Sebastian: Those who die with their sins cleansed from their souls will walk by the Maker in eternity.
 * Isabela: If they really want people to be good, shouldn't they offer lakes of wine and...a dozen naked virgins?
 * Sebastian: Anyone who wants that will be going to the Void.
 * Isabela: Sounds like that's where all the good parties will be.

Isabela and Varric

 * Varric: Rivaini, stop looking at my chest. My eyes are up here.
 * Isabela: But the chest hair...
 * Varric: Do you know how much I suffer under your gaze? I am a person, not an object!
 * Isabela: Uh, Varric?
 * Varric: (Laughs) Just shitting you.


 * Varric: I'll let you run your fingers through it, if you want.
 * Isabela: Your chest hair? My fingers? Oh, Varric, stop! You're making me quiver.
 * Varric: You know you want to.
 * Isabela: Oh, I do... I can't resist you. No woman can.
 * Varric: I know. It's a terrible burden.


 * Varric: I shit you not, Rivaini, it was this big.
 * Isabela: There's no way. Impossible! I've had hundreds of those in my hands, and they're never that size.
 * Varric: Would I lie about something so critical?

next line is dependent on third party member
 * Anders: I can't stand it anymore, what are you two talking about?
 * Aveline: I'm afraid to ask, but... what are you two going on about?
 * Carver: What is wrong with you two? Can't you ever have a conversation that isn't dirty?
 * Hawke: What are you two talking about?


 * Varric: We're discussing knives, of course. Well, daggers, technically. I never remember the difference.
 * Varric: Why? What did you think we were talking about?


 * Varric: You know, Rivaini, you promised me you'd tell me how your ship wrecked.
 * Isabela: I was drunk. I thought the reefs around the Wounded Coast were made of candy.
 * Varric: Oh, come on.
 * Isabela: And a demon told me to do it. It bet me sixty sovereigns and a bottle of port.
 * Isabela: You're not the only one here who can bullshit, you know.


 * Isabela: Psst. I've got some of it written down now.
 * Varric: Give it here. "Her breasts strained against the leather jerkin like two wild stallions corralled against their will." (Chuckles) "She pounced–the smooth moves of a jungle cat–and locked her thighs around Donnic's waist. He–"
 * Isabela: Maybe you should read the rest of it in private.
 * Varric: I think that's best.


 * Isabela: Come to me, and I'll take you to places you've never been.
 * Varric: Isabela...are you talking to Bianca?
 * Isabela: I think she deserves to feel a woman's touch on her trigger, don't you?
 * Varric: Bianca responds to my touch. She'd never give it up for you.
 * Isabela: That's what they always say, and I always prove them wrong.
 * Varric: Stop it. You're confusing her.  And me.


 * Varric: Where you listening to that guy in the Hanged Man last night?
 * Isabela: "Your eyes are like bumblebees flying into the window of my soul." (Laughs)
 * Varric: My favorite was "Your lips are like the wings of sparrows. Red ones. With no feathers."
 * Isabela: "Oh speak and send the plucked wings of your lips soaring."
 * Varric: I'd buy the guy a drink, but I don't think he needs one.


 * Varric: You have got to tell me what was in that box, Ravaini.
 * Isabela: Which box? I've opened so many...
 * Varric: Well those too. But later. Right now: that Qunari relic.
 * Isabela: I'll make you a deal: I'll tell you what was in that box if you tell me how Bianca got her name.
 * Varric: Fine. Forget I asked. Evil woman.